Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Second Chance

Second Chance

-Prabal Thakur

Once I was sitting alone rather I should say that I always sit alone that’s how I reenergize myself. Some people say padmasana is the position in which you can simply synchronize all your energy, I believe in them. But my padmasana is a bit

different I love to sit in front of mirror and stare myself. This is my way introspect myself and discover the change in me and see why Rudrasingh Thakur is not the same. That’s quite filmy but filmy things do really work in real life. But while doing such things the problem are my parents, they always think what has happened to me. My parents are a little over conscious, they always stare me while I do so I don’t know what they feel about it; but it really disturbs me. And after some stare to mirror, my life as usual come to normal.

Next day was the routine day went to my college did little bit studies. Why to study hard in the college when you have so many disturbing beautiful face around you to distract. And exam time were as usual the time to show skills. As the routine part of my life I cheated in every exam. It is also a very tough job as late night writing on papers with small size script so that you can only understand what is written over, sometimes technology also helps as minimized Xerox facility is also available in the market. More difficult task was to remember the lessons’ chit location wise and also how many chapters are there. Even I also use key word of chapter which symbolizes that question is from which chapter. Really I had no concern with the question asked in exams just the requirement was that I should understand that the question is from which chapter once got the chapter name in my mind then the search for the relevant chit starts, even when the chits are irrelevant but writing was my right anything that I do posses in the form of chits at that time. Marks requirement was nothing just pass or fail status was required. Exams also helps in making friend as in last exam I helped Saurav bhai in exam by passing chits and he promised me to help me anytime when required. That’s how I progressed to my final year of graduation.

I was the hero of my college. Really I was not a sports person or any scholar of college but I was famous for my eve teasing and information data base about girls. Really I was master in that. Even I hadn’t left internet from my scope I had 100`s of girlfriend on net but not a single in real life. Even I didn’t require any girlfriend as I was having information about almost every beautiful girl in my data base which consisted name, family information like brother and sister, address and phone no. of almost each pretty girl. Even people could get important information about girls character also. Usually the information used to be correct. I was the master in recognizing someone’s character by mere observation. That’s what I did in my college. I also had to attend some lectures to gather information about studious girls. Now a days beautiful girls are also studious. Boys like this kind of chicks, beauty with brain even I like to comment on them as the faces they make after listening vulgar comments are amazing. I love to irritate these kind of girls if they at all had a single male friend then it was a Bravo! I got license of teasing that girl with that boy’s name. Even when people are going to gym and building body but still studious boys avoid messing with my kind of guys. So they always stand in a nervous position having blind mind thinking what to do..? That’s how I enjoyed my college days.

But missing classes and sitting at road was also a treat where you could analyze people. Some characterless girls passing though road and giving you full opportunity. Some studious kind of boys wanting information about particular girl whom they love deeply and seriously. Even there I could analyze which girl is interested in this kind of activities and which girl had no interest. I personally had a soft corner for the girl who studies so I never pass their right information to any wrong guy. Might be amazed knowing this but hoodlums also have heart in them. Every day was like a new beginning of same day as all my days were same.

But thatday was a special day as today first years classes were going to start. And as usual practice all the college boys always wait for the new girls to join so that their options become wider. Really it was a challenging day for me as its always been a information tester day for me. I went early to the college that day. My mom was bit surprised as she never let me out without having my breakfast. I ate parathas everyday before going to college. And lunch was always sponsored by my clients that is the information beneficiaries. I went near college gate and began my scrutiny. It was a long lengthy process to bifurcate not so easily available girl from easy target girls after bifurcating they are further divided into open invitation girl and efforts to be done girls. That day I noticed many faces beautiful as well as average looking was people often ask me that why you don’t have a girl friend and my answer always was waiting for the best. That day I noticed a girl, she was awesome. She was a real beauty she had the charm in her face with a beautiful dimpled smile. While smiling I noticed her eyes contracts as if she was a Chinese girl. She was smooth skinned with high pony tail, with grey shirt and specks that added feature to her beauty. I was confused to bifurcate her into available or not. But my heart forced myself to put her in non available group because I liked these kinds of girls only. I was stone hearted man but then also I had feeling at least for somebody until I become habitual of looking at that girl. Even when I classified her to be non- available girl then also I put her into the group of close watch once.

As days passed, I monitored all the girls but she was different. I was observing her for months I was confused to conclude anything about her behavior. It was not normal because I consider myself to be the best in this business. My observations never failed and I was like love consultant to the college but this girl was little different. I saw her laughing with the boys as well as saw her uninterested about them. She was behaving in two different manners and it was not regular thing that she behaves in different way every time I observed her. She looked very studious but never scored good marks her friends were very bad character girls but I never saw her doing that kind of activity. I observed her in tuition classes but didn’t found her taking interest in males. But many times saw her sitting on the back seat of motorcycle of many strongly built macho kind of boys. She was like mystery to me and I was curious in finding facts about her. But I also had to restrict my activities to a certain limit as she was daughter of police inspector so blank calling and honking in front of her was very risky. I spent my 6 months finding about her after spending so much time then also I know very little things about her. Then after so much research I concluded not to spend time on her rather study hard to complete my graduation with good numbers.

You people will be amazed listening studies from my mouth but the reason was my father. My father was a real rajput he had slang in his every sentence. No sentence would be complete without a slang. Really he was my role model I learnt my preliminary slangs from my paa. He was very tough man who never left any moment to scold me. Once he said that I am good for nothing this sentence penetrated in my heart like a 6 inch rampuri dagger. So this time I decided to score in the exam and give a good reply to him. But scoring was not so easy as you could pass having chits in your pocket but you cant score good marks by this things you need to study hard but I had no option so I gave myself a second chance.

It is more difficult for a mawali boy to study than for a studious boy to do mawaaligiri. Then also I never let my arms down. This is the rajput phenomenon you can make the things happen from a rajput just what you require is to hurt his ego. We rajputs are egoistic fools who can do anything to protect ego. It is just because we are taught that our ancestors were kings who died to protect their promises. So all rajputs are somewhat egoistic. My father was also aware of this so he also played the same game as others play. Whatever I have to study now. Next day when I went to the lecture it was a shock to my friends. Really I couldn’t call them friend as most of them were opportunist. They used to hang out with me just because I could throw good vulgar comments and deals in most interesting things i.e. girls. Even I had no feelings for them. I was also aware that no one would accompany me in my task of studding. As per my clairvoyage our gang of 10 reduced to 6 to attend lecture. As the days passed it reduced to 1 that’s only me. While in starting it was difficult for me to attend lectures as I was not habitual of this thing, I spent many lectures just watching girls but with the time I found some subjects to be interesting. I loved economics as it is the subject where you can apply logic of normal life. Even some people who avoided me in beginning started talking to me a little. Really I also tried communicating with studious guys but latter felt that my sense of humor and their sense of humor have a wide difference which can’t be bridged up. Even my class girls gave me smile on the road who earlier gave me stares. My life began to change and I also understood that it was the time for my march to the zenith and the chance I gave me was working.

One day when I was moving out of the class I saw that mystery girl coming towards us. I was accompanied by many studious boys at that time so I felt she will be coming to chat with senior friends I didn’t took interest in her entrance I turned my back towards her and started talking with my friend. Suddenly I sensed a touch on my shoulder and a sweet voice “excuse me” the voice was so sweet that I have could jumped from the terrace if anybody demanded such jump in such a sweet voice. I turned back and saw the mystery girl just behind me her beautiful eyes were so innocently observing me that I realized that I hadn’t taken a bath while coming to the college. I started smelling my sweat. After watching her fully, I gathered all my emotions and said “what” giving whole lot of expression by moving both shoulder and eye brow in upper direction. I thought it will make her feel that I didn’t saw her coming over here. Then the conversation began…

Girl: Bhaiya do you have 1st years notes.

I: Yes…

(I had no notes with me but only a foolish boy can only say no to such a beautiful girl) Girl: So have you given it to any other person.

I: No…

Girl: So can you give it to me. I: Definitely, no problem.

Girl: Thank you. thank you very much.

And she went away. Really I had to thank her as after she went away I found so many jealous faces watching towards me with surprise. It was a surprise to me also as I never talked with any girl in my college history so gently. That day as I went home I stood infront of mirror to analyze myself. Even when I had no bath that day I was looking handsome but it was the question roaming in my mind even if I was looking handsome then also why did she chose me. I was not at all studious looking anybody with no idea about me could also say that I am very average student. It was a confusing question the mysterious girl played another mystery with me. While thinking about her I realized that I don’t even know her name. Even I followed her for the 6 months then also I had no clue about her name. Still at this point also knowing her name was not a difficult task for me but I decided to follow straight path by asking her directly rather using sources. Half of the day I spent dreaming about her and the other half searching the notes. I had no notes as from many books I tore papers for using as a chit in exam. And giving her such book would spoil my impression. So this time I used my sources and found that how weak sources I had. Not even a single boy had his book without tearing a single page. So now I had to buy the book from second hand market. I bought all the books in 50% price. Really that spending also didn’t cost me as that money was earned from my information database business which was itself illegal kind. I never felt cashless as my earning was more than my spending whatever the source of earning it is. Even buying from second hand market was the best option because in that market studious people sell their book in which they highlight important lines which might help her in studies. Rather helping her it would have built my image infront of her.

But still I was helping her then also I was very confused why me. The question was so many studious boys were standing there but she had chosen me even when I stood my back towards her. Last possibility is also not possible as I can’t look studious and even I don’t have any specks. Also she said bhaiya. Why..? I thought mystery will remain.

Next day I went college with small smile as if I am attracted towards her. This smile was coming from inside even I tried to make serious angry face as it was my usual expression but that smile was really difficult to hide. I was carrying big bag with atleast

10 Kg load then also I was not at all tired. After each class my eyes stuck on the door but she was not visible. During the class I was not able to concentrate as I was busy in thinking that did demanding book mean something else or it’s a usual demand. Day passed but I had no clue about her even I was wandering near there class but she was not visible. The smile on my face started to fade up but never the less she will come tomorrow was my brains’ instructing to my heart.

Next seven days I eagerly waited for her but she didn’t appear. That annoyed me a little but I understood its what god is punishing as I accept I did so many bad things in my life and played with emotions of others so its now my turn to play the pray. I understood it quickly and moved on. I think people call this as easy going attitude but I call it a use of brain. As you must understand what is good for you and what is not and quickly adapt to it even if it is hard for you. Living in a hypothetical world and imagining the unreal thing are just the indications of losers as winners always win. So at last I had only one regret that I foolishly spent 7 days and 7 days loss was a big loss. As I had to prove my dad and also for the sake of my attitude I started studies again. Also sold the second hand books in the same market with less price I have to bear loss but never the less net loss is better than total gross loss which I have to face with the loss of opportunity cost of it. That’s what I learned after attending the classes.

As the exams came I was very well prepared this time as I studied well and I could put my talent to optimum use. I was not the hindi film hero who studies in climax and always come first. I studied hard but I was also aware that its not possible for me to earn best marks as I did possess the talent of cheating and not using that will be a foolish choice. So this time I was aware of the topics and also which chit to be used for which question. I was a little upgraded version of a cheater that’s where I could score good. I had a brilliant exams for my final year. My father would have understood that by my smile after every paper. He might have also observed a change in me.

After exam it was vacation time. It was a free time for me but for my lafange friends it was not. As their dad forcibly made them sit on their pan thelas, shops. I was lucky my dad was in service. But with the same I was also unlucky as I had to make my way myself. So I spent my vacation again at my college gate. Sitting their with my junior friend and staring at girls. My old life was back. Again my data base system was up-to- date. It was fun as this also provided me a chance to have a look on such mysterious beauty. Those were the few days when I enjoyed my last days of lafantugiri.

Days moved on very fast. Its really the good fact that days moved on very fast while hard working days have a very slow speed. My result came and it was most shocking for all my friends but face of my paa was not surprised. I had expected that my father will be most surprised but papas are always best. As I told my father my result he didn’t seemed to be surprised rather he said “I was aware that this time you will get good marks as you worked hard your past would have been the same if you had studied at that time also”. Really papa played a game with me with a win-win situation. I got the lesson that never mess with papa and also the intentions of papas are undoubtedly good. Even they understand you more than yourself. My result was really very okay it was a average but a 35% student when getting 65% was a very good performance. Really this result came at last year so it was an important one as it made me graduate. Now the tension was what to do up next..? this was the biggest question of my life. Really doing B.Com. doesn’t really provide you specialized qualification to join a certain job.

Commerce graduate really don’t know what to do in future as the studies provided in college is not at all related to any service. So the question was what to do…?

After thinking for months then also I had no clue what to do. What profession will suit me…? Then one of my colony boy told me that he is going for the police recruitment camp. I thought for a while and decided that lets try my luck who knows what is in my fate. My mom opposed my decision I went to the camp and surprising thing was that I got selected. Really I thought I am not that matured for the duty of police but then also I didn’t wanna miss the chance because there was no other option.

As the days passed I completed my police training and got my first placement in the city as a traffic police. I was the traffic hawaldar but I hated that hawaldar cap so until the senior came I avoided wearing the cap. I was not very happy with my placement I don’t want to just instruct people how to move on the road. But my friend were jealous as it was the most earning job in the whole department. There was no limit on the bribe you could take. As I joined recently I avoided taking bribe I made challans of so many people. But after one month of service my patience and principles backed off. And I started taking bribe my first bribe I got was Rs. 50. One of my senior commented that even a rikshawala charge more than you. So I decided never to take bribe less than Rs.100. As police do have dignity.

Once when I was on the checking I saw a girl breaking signal. So I stopped her she was a teen age girl probably an under age. I noticed that she was very good looking. I said “ Show me your driving license”. She didn’t reply she was monitoring me and I was watching her. I noticed that she was shivering. So to show the police attitude. I shouted louder do you possess license. She still didn’t reply. This confused me. After a pause and a stare of few minute she started crying. I noticed pearl shaped tear drops rolling out of her eye. This made me afraid as the other people on the road started staring us. Who says that police don’t fear, her tears made me so afraid that I instructed her to go home. In this country police has such a image that passing by all peoples started staring at me. This was the situation where I earned nothing.

There is one more story when I got my highest bribe i.e. Rs.5000/-. Once when I was patrolling in the night I saw a car parked in a very silent place. I saw no one there so it was a very suspicious kind of thing. Even at that period bomb blasts happened in Mumbai so we were on high alert. First I feared going there but then my patriotism made me go there. I monitored the car from all sides but there was nothing there but car was shaking a bit so cautiously I moved towards the glass and saw a boy over a girl inside. For a minute I didn’t had a word because I was also an unmarried man who has never seen this before. So firstly I enjoyed a bit and then shouted and knocked on the window. Me: Whats going on.

Boy stood up after making some arrangements and adjustments he opened the door. Me: What was that.

Boy: Nothing.

Me: Nothing, I saw everything what was going inside. Boy: Sir please.

Me: What sir, tell me your name, where do you live, give me phone number of your parents..

Boy: Sir please Sir please…

Girl came out with her head down with guilt and also shivering with fear. Me: whose this…

Boy: Girlfriend.

ME: Abhi dhang se dhone ko nahi aata hoga par, Girlfriend paalta hai. I asked him many questions to threaten him.

Boy: Sir please leave us we will never do it again.

Boy made an innocent face. The girl was crying. I noticed that the girl was much more beautiful than the boy. Now a days girls taste has gone down. Any boy can have a girlfriend. After a stare of 2 minute boy said please.

ME: what? Boy: let us go.

Me: No you have to go to Police station. Boy: Please do something here only.

I thought today I am going to get good bribe.

He put his hand in the pocket. I noticed a bundle of money it was above my expectation so I decided not to bargain. As I was unaware of value of that bundle and I didn’t want to quote less price. Even when I decided to leave him I decided to teach him a lesson.

ME: hold your ears and do 10 sit ups. Boy: Sir…

ME: Fast..

Boy was ashamed doing this infront of his girlfriend but whatever he finished. Gave me the bundle and went away with the girl. Later on I counted it was Rs. 5000/- which was half of my salary. Why not to take bribe as people in India are so rich that they can pay me. And also it was not immoral as anyhow I restrict them from breaking rules. Whatever the people say it’s the life of the police.

I spent my two initial years in traffic department but as the traffic department is very sweet cake service all the new comers try to join them by using their political sources. So the people like me who doesn’t possess any sources are shifted from one place to another without using them to the best of their ability. Whatever my new joining was intelligence. I was given the task to supply intelligence information to upper department. As I was new in this field an officer named Anubhav Rahane was appointed as my senior. This was little serious kind of policing the earning was less and also we had to pay the spy who supplies information. Even when my income decreased and my life came to more danger then also my mom was very happy as she was proud to tell her friends and neighbors about my secret job. She was also unhappy with my traffic hawaldar dress and the cap. She had this habit of telling everyone that I do a secret job. So my secret job was not at all secret for my colony and my friends.

Many time I felt that my previous job was more productive but some times I enjoyed this job also. As the job was field job we had to visit many places in the city, no time limit, only one boss and the most important it was a very high status job. Many times we had to visit red light areas which I enjoyed. Really during my college life I did many mischievous things but I never dared to visit these places as I was frightened. But now I was police officer so no one dared to mess with me. Even Anubhav was a strict inspector and also a famous one as he killed the biggest dada of the area. He was known for his encounter skills. If your boss is famous then you also get a good amount of respect. After six months of my field duty I started understanding the work here. It was easy and also hard. I understood which man could give reliable information and which man could be fake. Who gives information for money and who gives information for revenge. How to do friendship with these people and upto what extent friendship with these people was fruitful. To whom the necessary information was to be passed so that a necessary step would be taken. And also to tell people fake stories to maintain your status in department and also to retain fear in hearts of criminals. This was a very essential part this was the only way to retrieve necessary information without using your hands.

Due to my service in police I started gaining weight, my relatives started considering me as a marriage material but as all police man do I wanted to settle down in some silent earning field before getting married these field job require lots of dedication then it was difficult to maintain a balance between naukri and chokri. I wanted to do something big so that I could tell this to my children that their father is a hero. Initially I did arrest many criminals but all credit went to Anubhav as he was senior and also the consequence of that was he was immediately transferred to some remote place. But even when this happened infront of me then also I wanted to do something good as I was impressed with the respect Anubhav possess in the department even SP and ACP talk to him with respect as they also respected the work he did but they were also forced to transfer him under political pressure. We gave Anubhav a very warm farewell he gave a little speech also but I didn’t hear a single sentence as I was busy in recalling the memories with him.

I still remember the day we were standing on the highway on a chilly morning at 5 am waiting for the criminals to come. We were told that the criminal is named Shabbir Mallik and he was migrant of UP it was also alerted that he may possess some weapons so was instructed arrest only if possible otherwise just trace their way and report it to control office. But as Anubhav was passionate he told me that we were going to arrest them anyhow. I saw a black Scorpio Car coming towards us as the glasses were dark we were not able to trace it perfectly. Anubhav told me that you lead I will support from back. As I got the chance I was very happy as well as excited. I waited for the car to come closer as it came close to me I started moving in the way. I showed my hand and told them to stop the car. They were forced to stop as I stood on their way. I went to driver and asked for his license he gave me his license I inspected it twice, thrice, but still couldn’t find any fault in it even it was maharashtra made license so no symbol of UP. Muslims are found everywhere and their living sense are also same everywhere so it was hard to distinguish between UP living Muslim or Maharashtra living. While I was analyzing license I also monitored the back seat people. There were three people sitting, one was woman wearing burkha. So it seamed like a family is traveling. I asked the driver where you are going he told me a nearby mosques’ name and also told they were coming from nearby village. I also analyzed all the papers of the car they were also clear. Driver has no hurry to go while whenever I stopped any family vehicle in my past posting people use to plea that we are family so do the formality fast as we have ladies also and we are in hurry. But this driver was very relaxed, no one from the family was interrupting or no one communicated with me. Only driver and I were talking. So I could smell something strange I also counted the number of people they were four male and a female. I ordered driver to come out.

Driver said “ why sir I produced all the papers..”

I further said rudely “ What I have said, I told you to come out, follow my instructions” Driver “why sir..”

He opened the gate cautiously I also noticed that any frustrated man open the gate with anger but he was very cautious.

Me: “Kya bola re checking nahi karne dega” It was my trap to make him angry.

Driver: “ Karo na sahab”

Me: “Piche kya lekar jaa raha be” Driver: “ Kuch nahi sahaab, Dekh lo”

Me: “ Mein kyu dekhu jab kuch nahi hai” Driver: “kya sahhab”

Me: “ Ye kaun hai bay tera”

Driver: “ Sahab hai mere”

One of that person came out. Said “Sahab kya problem kya hai” Me: “ Kuch to nahi”

When I thought that I was going weak infront of them I looked towards Anubhav as I looked toward Anubhav I heard from inside that abay bhaag ye anger daalne aaye hai. Both the driver and the other person ran inside the car but I was standing in such a good position that I positioned my pistol on the head of the person sitting on the back seat. But suddenly a sharp knife of 6 inch was hit on my pistol by that burkha. I understood that he was a burkha clad man. That knife could hit only my pistol not my hand but due to its force my pistol fell down. One of the back seater shouted bhago. I heard that and immediately picked my gun with my left hand. As car was picking speed I fired the shoot was directed towards driver I missed driver but that shot directly hit the wind shield and due to it the shield was shattered. As the driver experienced death from so close he stopped the car. And Anubhav came running from side with pistol on both the hand so no one dared to move even I covered them all from left. It was my first experience and as usual all credit went to Anubhav.

So in the farewell I shared my experience with everybody. I felt little bit emotional because my very good friend and a partner was going out. After farewell party SP sir called me inside and told me that “ Rudra singh so your partner is going” I replied “ Yes Sir” he further said “ Hope you learnt a lot from your previous partner”. The tone was too rhetoric that meant don’t repeat the mistakes of your partner. To answer I just nodded to say yes.

Sp: “ Are you married” Me: “ Not yet”

I was confused really that why sir is asking me this, I was not so comfortable with SP so that he could be so personal. After listening my answer I noticed a sweet smile on his face.

SP: “ Then you will enjoy your new partner”.

I was amazed with the answer. He told me that your partner will be a non experience one and you have to teach him everything. I was happy as it gave me feeling of being a senior. SP instructed me to come to the office get introduced to my partner and then go to field.

Next day I took bath and wore my best shirt to put a good impression before my new partner. Also I used deodorant so that my partner should feel that his senior is quite stylish. I wanted to prove my seniority from the first day so that he will feel that his senior is a hero as I felt working with the Anubhav. He was really a true impressive senior I also wanted to portray him before my new partner. I went to office half an hour late so that I could prove my seniority. Making your junior wait is also the way you can prove your seniority. I went to office signed on register and constable told me that SP is waiting for me. I thought my way to make impression could prove harmful to me also. If SP scolds me infront of my junior then it would totally ruin my preparation for the day.

I went inside Sp’s cabin and I asked may I come in, to please him. Sp said come in Rudra come in this is your new partner and he pointed his hand. I saw a very beautiful girl sitting on the corner in the cabin. She was not at all looking like police she seemed like a model. I saw her and then looked towards SP. I found a mischievous smile on his face. He further said , “she is Avni Sharma your new partner”. After listening this I made a weird face as I was expecting a boy to be my junior but this was a girl. While my job was in such kind of areas where I couldn’t take a girl with me. And the most important facts where my relatives what they will feel looking a girl with me. Already police possess a very bad image so I feared that my relatives would start a grand revolutionary moment against me and force me to marry anybody. I had no experience to deal with girls so I was very nervous.

I nodded towards SP and came inside also noticed that the girl followed me. I was very nervous about what to say to her. Really whatever I prepared to present an impression was useless as I prepared everything for a male junior but this was a different case. But as I had to teach her I had to lead so I turned to her and asked her name even I remembered that SP told me her name to be Avni but whatever I had to start it from anywhere. She replied I am Avni she told me her batch no. of training school which was of no use now. To continue the conversation I asked so first posting here. She nodded in assertion. I asked her “so what’s your reason behind joining police force”. She told me a long story about her father also being a policeman and bla bla which I uninterestingly listened but as I had no interest so I understood nothing that’s really the problem of girls they always tell you a story behind everything to gain your sympathy they always want to be in their comfort zone so that a male personality should protect them. That was the reason why I ignored girls in my college life as I didn’t find any interesting topic to talk about with girls while other boys could spend hours talking rubbish and analyzing their beauty I was a kind of person who would try to establish conversation with the one who talk about my interest. I thought it will be a good experience for me to know a girl after all I also had to marry someone after sometime. I firstly demonstrated her that how difficult job we did also I told that never let your weapon away from you. This line I heard on TV might be some film but it were quite impressive lines. I first narrated her that in case of difficulties your weapons are the only trustworthy friends you have. After the hour long boring theory class I told her that lets visit some of the places and also some of the people who generally supply information.

We went out of the police station I asked her do you have any vehicle she told me that she had a scooty. I took a look on scooty it was really not in the condition of giving competition to my 220CC pulsar provided by the government. So I told her to come on my vehicle. I sat on my bike , started bike and then told her to sit. I noticed her first time as her full concentration was how to sit. Watching a girl on her face while talking to her was not my kind of stuff. So when she was busy in her own thought I noticed her I felt as if I saw her somewhere but really I was not able to recall where did I saw her. After a few second of hesitation and thought she climbed up on my bike and sat on side faced style even when she was wearing pants. I think woman feel that sitting side faced will be a better option it really doesn’t let your body balance to rely upon the one who sits infront of you. While I was driving the bike I noticed that she was also looking here and there with a fear that somebody should not recognize her. I took her to a decent place in a slum near a desi daru shop it was the most decent place I knew at that time for work other places where more terrible than this. When I told her to step down I noticed a hesitation on her face. Even when I was the least emotional person than also I was aware that a girl would feel unusual in this kind of atmosphere. Whatever work was work afterall. I noticed my informers their I slightly indicated him to come here by slightly moving my eyebrow up. He traced my indication and came towards me. I said “kya re bandya kidhar gayab ho gaya tha re”

Bandya: Kidar nahi saab idhar hi to tha.

While delivering his reply he was constantly looking at avni. Me: “ Bahut dino se dikha nahi tu idhar re”

Bandya: “Setting par tha saab IPL aa rela hai naa toe bidu log satta lagane ki taiyaari may hai”

ME: “Kidar rachane wale hai ye log raas lila”. Bandya paused looking at Avni.

Me: “ YE nayi madam aayi hai apne sath kaam karegi”.

Bandya: “ Haan saab mein suna Anubhav saab ka koi gaav may transfer maar diya hai” ME: “Haav ab imandaari se kaam bi nahi karne dete ye neta log”.

Bandya: “ Saab wo Rasila bar hai naa udhar is baar satta chalne ko hai”. Bandya was still watching avni constantly.

Suddenly Avni spoke in between kon chala raha hai ye adda.

I saw confidence in her eyes while talking to bandya. He was bit surprised listening her voice. After listening her voice was unable to stare her. Foe a new comer on her first day talking like this was shocking for me as well as I tried it for a long time even after spending college life with such kind of hopeless people.

He softly spoke “ Madam wo sudhir wankhede aur uske panter log” Avni nodded as if she know them.

Bandya further said, “Saab mera naam nahi aane ko mangta hai”. Me: “ Aaj tak aaya kya mere par vishwas nahi kya tere ko”. Bandya: “ Bus aap hi toe ho saab”.

I offered bandya a Rs.1000 note. He readily accepted. I noticed Avni’s face she was shocked looking at me giving him money.

As we parked vehicle away we started moving towards our vehicle. While walking Avni asked me with hesitation that why I offered money to him. This question was a routine question that a new comer always ask to the senior I also asked this to Anubhav. So I also answered in Anubhav’s way that it’s the way of life you have to pay for every thing you want. But after listening such philosophical answer didn’t dared to ask the meaning of this to Anubhav but Avni replied that “we could have threaten him to give such information, why to pay them”. It was a very intelligent question not answering will prove me dumbo so first I gave her a long smile which fetch me some time to think more. After thinking for sometime I answered “ you can earn information for free also but it will be available for once or twice after that informers avoids you but when you pay them they always think that by giving better information they can earn better in that process sometimes they play with there lives to earn a little money. Without danger information for some money is always worthy. Learn this it is a lesson for you. Whatever I told her was I also don’t know about that but that certainly impressed her that I could notice from her face. I told her that this is the way we work. And when IPL will start we would catch everyone red handedly with the co-ordination with the area police that’s how we work. After moving here and there and also meeting some more people I dropped her to police station where she parked her vehicle. I noticed that half of the police station was watching us. I don’t know why all the people have interest in love stories that’s why the bollywood always make movies on similar subject.

After the tiring day I went to home. As a regular coarse my mom welcome me with a sweet smile. That smile always steals all the work load and criminal connections. That smile always makes me a 10 year old kid who after coming from school tells everything about the day to his mom and mom generally suggests few things or even she sometimes doesn’t react but that makes the child happy. Even I was a police officer then also I was a mamma’s boy. I washed my hands and sat on the bed to have dinner. It was my regular routine I ate food nowhere else. Dinner television and talking to mom was my regular way to relax and I wanted all the three at the same time. As today’s day was a interesting one I was eager to tell this things to mom.

Me: “Kya bolte aaj kal ladki wadki nahi dhund rahe mere liye yaa mein hi dhund lu” Mom: “Lagta hai tune hi dhund liya, bata de baba hum bhi bahu k darshan kar le, mini skirt wagaire par to nahi aayegi naa..”

Me: “Mom you r too old fashion ab toe mini skirt ka hi jamana hai” Mom: “ Bata de baba mini skirt pehne ya kuch na pehne hame kya hai” Me: “ Haan apko to kuch nahi papa ko puch lo”

Mom: “ Ab aajkal ki bahue kya sasur kya pati”

As I found the discussion is going in wrong direction I came to the point. Me: “ I got a new partner”

Mom: “ oh how is he”

Me: “ What he she is a girl” Mom: “What..?”

Me: “Who says that our job don’t contain glamour.”

Mom: “ Oh that’s why you are so happy” Me: “Khush hone ki toe baat hi hai”

Mom:” Aray wah phir kya dekhna police police jama le usko”

Me: “Kya mummy kuch bhi bolte kya aap. Sirf partner hai muze toe tension rehta hai gunde mawaliyo ke bich wo kaise manage karegi”

Mom: “Toe phikar hai”

Me: “Bus ungli pakdae nahi ki aap shuru ho gaye seriously bol raha hu” Mom: “Ha waise ladkiyo ki duty easy jagah lagana chahiye”.

Me: “Ha generally hota to aisa hi hai pata nahi ye kaise kya hua” Mom: “Lagta hai tere liye hi hua”

This was the last sentence of our discussion after that I just blushed. Then my dad entered the home he was assistant in an office. Being a assistant he had to listen all the words from senior so in home he never spoke too much. I loved my dad very much but I don’t know why we always had a long gap between us. We never discussed on any single matter together nor he or I talked to each other directly. We always used mom as a mediator in our discussion. He came washed face with water at that time only television dared to talk. Whenever he enters home after job we all use to sit silent first we used to analyze his mood then only dare to talk. I think he was happy that day as he was having dinner he asked mom that how is my job going on. Mom always used to answer all the questions on my behalf even at that time I was sitting just 5 meter away and was listening all their discussion. My dad told my mom that he got bonus early this time and they both started planning to buy something for the home. I never took interest in these household matters my mom had the whole sole authority which she uses to its optimum looking at all the financial perspective.

Next morning I exercised and then took bath. After that when I was choosing the cloths to wear I chose the best one which looked good on me. Even my mom gave a teasing smile which was very annoying for me. Then I planned my “to do list” for the day. When I was leaving I realized that I had to go to police station to pick her up. When I reached near police station I watched a jeans wearing, tall girl standing in the parking. When I reached nearer I starred at her. The girl just saluted me in academy style. When you are new you always salute in academy style what they teach you but when you spend time in duty you forget to salute properly. I realized that the girl was Avni last day I never saw her properly as I was uncomfortable looking at her directly but I realized that she is my partner. She was looking hot. That’s what a man can’t restrict himself to comment. I stopped my bike near her. Saluted her back and when I realized that it was obligatory for me to be his partner I made a decision to build friendly relation with her so I commented on her “so all set to go”. She replied yes. I gave her signal to sit. Today she climbed on by bike and this time I found her sexy. She climbed in a manner I always wanted my girlfriend to. Whenever I saw any couple I fought within myself that should I have girlfriend or should I not at last I decided that this type of life is not for me. Also I found myself not to be mature enough to handle this emotional trauma. I was harsh from my brain but also was too emotional for heart. And I was very satisfied with my life but today god gave me a moment of joy. I was not at all thinking about her but her act gave me a sense of excitement. She sat in boys style that means legs on two side. I asked her “so ready for the work”. For replying she leaned towards me brought her lips close to my ears and whispered “yes”. That yes was so sweet that I felt restless as I have diabetes. It made me so happy that I got exited and also I was eager to hear some more words. But I was unable to establish communication as I was unable to think about any topic to say. Also I thought that I may get this kind of experience again as its duty after all.

We reached near a tea shop it was my favorite place as many informers came here. I spent many hours of my college life here only. It was our favorite adda. I was king here even this tea vendor also knew me perfectly. He was also my informer as he hear the discussion of clients and pass it on to me. That’s my technique of getting information.

I went towards the tea vendor and ordered 2 tea. Avni looked at me and said no I don’t drink tea. So I said coffee. She made a weird face and said no. She was might be uncomfortable with locality and hygiene. But when you enter this field this locality hygiene should be sacrificed as there is no sense looking at hygiene when you are forcefully required to drink a tea. I took the tea glass in my hand and just looked towards tea vendor. He said bada game chalu hone wala hai lagta hai. I said “kaun”. He replied “lagta hai javed hai bhai”. I completed my glass of tea and went toward Avni I told her that I got the information that something is going to happen. She asked me that what I kind of big. Then I realized that I need to tell her all about background. She also asked me information about javed. Javed was a agent in flesh trade. I was very confused how to tell a girl about this things. My ethics were binding me but it was our profession I need to tell her about these things. I gathered all my courage and told her that javed works at red light area. He has many cases registered against him on the charge of forcing girls to get into prostitution, supplying small girls below age of 18 years and cheating etc… She exclaimed how rascal. Listening slang from mouth of a girl is also a treat. As we get so habitual of listening slangs from a boys mouth that we even don’t react to it. Its like listening a normal word but to listen from a girls mouth every slang seems to be sweet sugar pills. I told Avni that javed is playing big games now a days but what’s that, we have to find out. We sat on my bike and I started to drive but our discussion didn’t end. Avni asked that “now what to do?”. I asked her that what do you feel what should be done. She answered that we must report it to police station then we will arrest him and take remand, in remand we will make him speak about his game. I gave her a smile and she made a weird face. I deliberately gave her smile so that I could mark her expression. After a pause she said “so what we are going to do”. I didn’t answer as I had no answer at that time but I pretended as if I had a plan in my mind. We roamed around city patrolling I didn’t knew how atmosphere became so good cold breeze was touching my body I was driving my bike and I had a girl on my back seat. It was all what I have thought to have and also thought that I am not going to get this things. The day was so short that it ended very quickly. I dropped her to the police station where everyone was again staring us. So as she stood beside her vehicle I called her and asked her mobile number. She gave readily its difficult to ask any girl her mobile no. even when your intensions are right. I asked her to catch me tomorrow on Wilson road instead of police station. Really I was ashamed that everybody stares at us everyday.

During night time I prepared a plan to catch hold of javed next day. I went to Wilson road where I saw avni in her red top and blue jeans she was as usual looking amazing but today I was feared of her amazing looks. As she climbed on my bike she wished good morning in my ears. Today there was no salute. I nodded my head to reply her. As I completed my reply she asked that what we are going to do today to capture javed. I told her that capturing javed is not our only aim what he is doing now a days that’s more important than just catching him. Like a senior I instructed and she reacted. After a pause of 10 min serious driving I told her that today we have to visit raatrani mohalla. It was a famous red light area so she was aware of its name. I was unable to see her face at that time I wanted to know if she is feared. I asked her that you have to be more careful there so be ready with your gun and always keep your gun near you. I also gave her last warning before we entered there that try to prevent unnecessary show of gun try that no one should know that we are cops.

As we entered the area it was clearly visible that it’s a different world all together. Area itself proclaimed that it was something diabolic there. You could find teasing ladies standing on the balcony watching you carefully with a wild expression, small children running around the road carelessly, walls occupied with B grade movie posters and ugly looking freakish men wandering around there. I saw avni becoming uncomfortable I was aware of the area as Anubhav and I came here many times he taught me that how to choose men to talk. Which men can give you perfect information which are the regular informers he also told me how to save our self from the girls who can even pull you in their room. These are the basic knowledge to enter this area I also entered this area once when I was in college to show my daring to other boys but really I was so afraid that I roamed here and there once and then returned home. This time I was more afraid because this time I had a girl with me and had to save her from the unsocial animals roaming around.

I parked my bike on the corner of the road near a pan thela. I went to pan thela and asked avni to stay near the bike. I went near pan thela pan vendor invited me and asked kya loge sahaab. He indicated his figures towads condom packet also. I smiled and said ye bata bhola kaha milega. He indicated his figure towards a door and said 12 number may hoga aaj kal udhar hi pada rehta hai. I came back to my bike now my problem was that should I take avni to that room or ask her to stay back. I was very confused but I decided to take her there my thought was that if she stays with me she will be safer. I went towards her and told her that we have to go there. I was praying to god that please let bhola not be doing anything. As we were moving through corridor many weird voices were audible. I was feeling very ashamed as I never experienced this kind of thing with a girl on my side. I saw avni with my side vision I saw her face red with shame. As we reached near room no. 12 the voices declined. I knocked the door a woman opened the door good thing was that she was well dressed. I asked her about bhola she indicated her fingure and said soo rela hai uthau kya. I replied yes. As she heard my yes she went towards a jar of water took it in her hand and just threw whole water on bhola. We were stunned that was it a new way of making awake. But I was aware that this area is not normal so regular customs of world are also different in this area. Bhola stood up and said ******. The word was so horrible that avni and me both looked towards each other with a amazed kind of look while that women had no reactions but to answer him that woman said koi saahab aayle hai. Bhola looked at me with his half closed half open eye. He came towards me and started starring avni. I asked her javed kya jhol kar rela hai.

He replied looking at me mujhe pata nahi saab kuch bhi. Koi information nahi hai. Uski wo chamiya hai naa wo kuch bol reli thi ki naya maal aa rela hai. Lagta hai nayi pottiya laa rela hai. After listening each of his word carefully I just gave him a Rs.500 rupee note.

After having this information we came back I saw a coffee shop in the way so I stopped my bike there. I asked avni coffee. She smiled and said okay but I will pay. What I have to do with money when a beautiful girl herself was offering me coffee and that too she was paying. Really I was a very lower middle class boy so any saving seemed to be profit to me. We sat on a corner table where we were not at all audible. This was also my dream that once I should sit with my girlfriend in a high class coffee shop I don’t know how but my dreams were getting real days after days. Now I had started feeling about her this feeling was nice automatically a smile came on my face and I started feeling acidity in my stomach. Even I found hard to digest the coffee but leaving coffee was also not the table manners which I was taught.

When we settled down she started talking with very surprising word she said

“Thank you”.

Rudra: What thank you..?

Avni: I have always seen this kind of things in movies and serials but I have never thought that I would be able to visit such place any time in my life. How many girls get this kind of chance..?

(This sentence itself showed me that this girl got the guts and I was unnecessarily worried about her. I also decided after listening to this that I will provide her with some daring exposure of this field instead carrying her as a Stephanie)

Rudra: I thought you will feel awkward after visiting such place. Avni: I was feeling awkward but at last its my work.

Rudra: Wow serious about work good. Bahut aage jaoge. Avni: Okay what next we are going to do.

Rudra: We have no option but we will send one of our constable their as a client and he will try to bring information.

Avni: So they don’t understand the difference between normal client and a hawaldar. Rudra: Its difficult to recognize as both are normal men and behave in a similar way. Avni: Okay but its risky for that constable also as he must have wife at his home.

Rudra: Yes I know that its some kind of betrayal with wife so we generally choose a bachelor so that they may not have any problem.

Avni: But it is also a kind of betrayal with future wives.

Rudra: But we never let the information go out of department. As department people understand the bindings of department.

Avni: What if the wife is also from the department itself.

( A thought immerged in my mind that is she indicating me something or giving me line) (Being diplomatic I answered it’s a rare case but it might be possible)

As I saw that the discussion is going towards a wrong direction I asked her about her parents.

Avni: My mom died when I was small and my father gave lots of love to me but god also called him as I completed my college. He was in police so I also preferred it as my profession.

Whenever any girl tells me any tragic story I always got confused that how to react to it. As I was a harsh kind of person I never felt anybodies’ pain in myself so it was difficult for me to show sympathy towards anyone.

As we finished our coffee we sat on my bike I asked her where to drop her she told me that she reached Wilson road by an auto so I felt its my duty to drop her home. She told me the address it was near my home. When we reached near her home she told me to drop her at the road itself rather than entering the gully. I dropped her their I thought she would also be afraid of her neighbors and relative as I would have been if she would have came to drop me home. She pointed towards her home as it was visible from the place where I dropped her.

After dropping her I directly went to police station for preparation of tomorrows operation. As I had a years experience about this kind of tactical operations with me so this time it was my duty to lead. Even the police station staff was treating me as a leader. I selected a constable for the job of client. I taught him that how to watch the things, how to investigate and how to conclude and collect the proofs. I taught him for an hour and also explained him the kind of compromises he has to make and how to safeguard himself with weapons and other biological safety measures. I watched his expression he was silent but I was able to trace an excitement and also worried about his future. I told him to visit me at 10 o’clock morning at Gandhi nagar. But I was not able to tell Avni about Gandhi nagar so I thought she will come to Wilson road.

Next day morning I went first to Wilson road to pick up Avni. My thought was absolutely correct I found her present and waiting for me. I picked her and asked for her mobile number. I don’t know why girls feel awkward to give their phone number. I was asking for her phone number to contact her any time it was truly professional purpose but a girl will be a girl. After making some weird faces she gave me her number I gave her a missed call and asked her to save my number. I thought that this girl is so lucky that she is going to watch a operation in her first month of services. I rode my bike towards Gandhi nagar as I turned my bike she asked me where we were going. I liked to talk to her while driving as to finish her every sentence she had to bring her lips near my ears and that feeling was amazing. I told her to be prepared for a small operation. With excitement she jumped a little on my bike and came closer to me my back was in direct contact of her. My heartbeat started to grow even it was audible to her. It was the first time when I felt like some one special is sitting next to me. But I had to be alert as it was my working time.

We went to Gandhi nagar and started waiting for that constable. When we were waiting for the constable I started analyzing the face of Avni. As I was the master of this art during my college days, I was using my abilities again after a long period of time. People call my act staring but its analyzing. She had a pair of shy eyes which were watching me but not directly but from the corner of her eye. She was repeatedly wetting her lips as if she was confused. She was watching here and there which symbolized that she was afraid of public. So at last I could conclude that she was a self reliant and a shy girl; Perfect for me. Even I found fondling her hair that symbolizes she was getting bored. I took a look on my watch I found that we were waiting here for that constable for an hour. But I didn’t realized how the time passed as I was busy with my work. Whenever I saw her hair moving with the breeze she seemed to be a Barbie doll to me. Even I wanted to talk to her but I was robbed of my words at that time. Suddenly my mobile started ringing I thought it might be the constable but it was my informer Bhola. Rudra: Hello…!

Bhola: Saahaab… Rudra: Bol kya hua.

Bhola: Pakki khabar mili hai kuch ho rela hai javed ki gali may. Rudra: To grahak logo ko wo andar le rele hai kya.

Bhola : Haan sahab sab kuch normal dikh rela hai par log kuch bol rahe the. Rudra: Thik hai mein dekh luga.

Bhola: Sahaab mera bhala hoga na… Rudra: Tujhko bhi dekh luga.

Avni was hearing our whole discussion as I finished talking she asked, “what happened?”. I told her that we are lucky suddenly there is some kind of illegal activity monitored there so our operation can be successful if that bloody constable came here on time. I took my phone and called that constable

Rudra: Hello.. Constable: Haan sahab

Rudra: Mein Rudra sigh Thakur bol raha hu. Constable: Haan sahab.

Rudra: Kaha ho.

Constable: Sahab mein aa nahi pauga. Rudra: Kyu.

Constable: Sahab meri bachi ki tabiyat bahot kharab hai.

(I hate this emotional excuses as there was no other way but to excuse the person. And no matter how important the work is you have no other way)

Rudra: Thik hai.

I cut the phone with anger as there was a golden opportunity to disclose the crime but this opportunity is looking out of reach. Avni heard our discussion again but then also she asked what happened. I told her that he was not going to come. Avni asked me that why don’t I arrange a new constable. But I told her that it’s not possible as, if I contact police station somebody will tell javed about our mission and all effort will go in vein. She asked me then what could we do. As I had no answer I didn’t replied. After a pause for a while she said why don’t you go for it. I explained her that since I was working in the area for two years many of the people know that I am in police they will never treat me as there regular clients. They would recognize me. After explaining she also got convinced that I couldn’t go there.

We both began to think. After half an hour of hard brain wrestle. I got an idea. I said Avni there is an idea but its risky. With curiosity she asked what tell me. Her curiosity added strength to me and I explained her that I cannot go as everybody knows me but you can go there as nobody will think that a cop can come in such a way. But you have to look like them. With the same its risky as you know that area is full of sex maniacs and you also have a danger of being caught. But as a girl you can roam around freely also you can talk to some prostitute which will help in your investigation. When I was explaining her these thing I watched her face she made a weird face. After some dialogue I asked her are you ready. After a pause she answered no I am not going to do this. I didn’t expect this answer from her. A straight away no was like somebody slapping me on my face. As a rajput cannot absorb his defeat early. I told her that you are very unprofessional. You cannot say so as I guarantee your safety. It’s the biggest chance in your life to show to the people. I told her that you are not in service for earning money our job is to clean the society for cleaning we have to put our hands in dirt. Watching a movie is very easy but when your chance comes you have to show how you can serve the people. With my lecture and also my fear she agreed. I told her that you have to get in the role first.

We went to her home this time she took me to her home rather making me stand on the road. When I saw her home I thought as if I have seen it before. I went inside it was a very well maintained home nobody could predict that she lives here alone. I noticed that small things like the show case, her trophies and medals, photo of her mom and dad which states that she is very emotional as well as she is self made girl with lots of discipline in her life. I like such kind of girls as these kind of girls never become chapri kind. She took half an hour to make up herself. As she entered the hall where I was sitting she really looked very ravishing. I observed her from bottom to top she had a very raunchy figure. In loud makeup and explosive saree she really seemed to be inviting. In short she looked like adman sexy whore but still very beautiful. After staring her for a minute I gave her a sweet smile to boost her confidence. She also returned me a smileto show my assertion. I told her to carry a gun she took her service revolver and put it on her waist while she was doing so I monitored a slim waist holding saree at its stretch.

We went to the Raatrani moholla. This time I had lots of fear to enter the place and as we entered whenever any male client looked at us my fear increased. Really I was fighting with myself that do I really need to do this operation to serve society or I was callously risking girls life for my fame. Really I did fear the departmental action against me if I prove unsuccessful but also wanted recognition in the department as all my previous work was credited in the fame of Anubhav but I was taking a big risk. I was really fighting with myself and was satisfied that I am not doing this for fame but I still know that I was greedy for it so both my sides were fighting to prove their view right. And one argument was also that I started liking that girl.

While driving I watched the reactions of all men around and derived that they were unable to differentiate Avni from other feminine delight. This was the light of hope for the success of our mission. We reached near the area from where javed generally operates. I parked my bike a galli early. As I parked bike I looked at Avni it was very hard moment as I was sending her to a very difficult mission where there was threat to her life as well. I saw her innocent eyes and I hated myself for my rudeness. But as she prepared to go It was not the time to say no.

She broke the silence and said May I go now. I replied but beware just find the information in easy way don’t go very deep if you find any problem just call me I am here to help you. But your security is prime agenda right. She nodded in approval. Then half heartedly, I sent her. She crossed the road in front of me and turned in the gulli the location of our mission. I saw her till her last visible image.

As per our plan it was decided that she will call if she needs any help until then I have to wait. If everything goes fine she will bring the information for me to initiate the further activities. Even I alerted nearby police station to be on toes but as usual I didn’t tell them my exact plan. Its what I learnt from Anubhav who was my role model. I was very uncomfortable in waiting it was not at all my style of operation as I hate to wait rather I was a man who would be in action. But whatever it was my plan and I planed it keeping all the circumstances and facts of the case in my view. I saw my watch it was just 5 minutes since she went inside but it seemed as if a very long period of time had passed. With every minute my worries grew thick.

I saw bhola my informer passing by. He saw me and came towards me. Bhola: “Sahab aap idhar ko kyu khade ho”

Rudra: “Madam ko ander bheja hai information lane” Bhola: “Sahab ye kya kiya tumne”

Rudra: “Kya hua”

Bhola: “Sahab wo to bahut khatarnak log hai aur aaj bahot saare panter log ander dikh rahe hai. Agar madam pakda gayi to wo log chodege nahi.”

Rudra: “Wo police wali hai apni suraksha karna jaanti hai” (Even I was also not sure about my statement)

Bhola: “Par sahab meine ek do logo ke pass hathiyaar bhi dekhe hai.” “Acha saab mein chalta”

Rudra: “Thik hai tu nikal

After having a chat with bhola my conscience started troubling me. My brain started imagining worst ever possible pictures and every minute for me was like a night mare. After thinking a lot my patience ceased and now it was show time for me as well. I decided to enter the place even it was tough for me to disguise myself as many of them knew me but I thought lets take a chance who knows what plan that god have for us.

I entered the street and saw a rush of prostitutes there. It was difficult for me to see and recognize Avni separately there but still I started my search. Many prostitutes were looking at me with evil intensions it was just like a close encounter with eve teasing. I thought god is making me experience the things what I did in my college days with others. Even some daring ones touched me here and there it was really a night mare for me. But I had to absorb these things as I was on mission. While searching for Avni I saw Javed over there. It diverted my focus from Avni to Javed. I saw Javed talking to a girl and I was more concerned that the girl who was standing near javed was wearing the same color that avni wore today. I went closer to them but still the picture was not clear. When I stressed on my eye then I found that Javed slapped that girl. That proved the fact me that Avni was caught by them.

My hands started to shiver. It’s a very disturbing when you find yourself guilty in your own eyes. My movement accelerated but I restrained myself from running as I didn’t want to get noticed by all but I walked at the highest possible speed. I saw Javed moving away from there I thought that he might not have recognized her. But still I couldn’t stop myself from moving towards them. While moving my eyes were stuck on them while a prayed for the safety of that innocent girl. I took out my pistol to get ready to tackle any sort of situation.

I saw another man slapped the girl hard and held her hairs to say something. I was able to watch everything but was unable to do anything from there. After two minutes of some talk the man pulled that girl to nearby room it was a shock for me. Now in my mind no mission, no duty, no public around me just I was thinking, was to save Avni. I started running and climbed the stares but the door was locked my heartbeat grown up while my mind started screening a cruel B grade movies rape sequence starring Avni. I knocked the door but nobody responded instead I was able to hear loud screams of Avni. Some drops of tear automatically appeared in my eyes as my heart was crying from inside. Now it was a do or die situation for me. I pointed my pistol towards the door, I was about to shoot suddenly my cell phone started vibrating. I took out my cell phone to look it was Avni’s call. I picked the phone and said “I am coming you don’t worry”. She replied in a calm voice “yes please come”. She was very calm while I could hear screams while standing there. I asked “Where are you right now”. She replied “I am standing at the place where we parked our vehicle”.

It confused me a lot with further processing my mind I realized that the girl whom I wanted to save was some other girl not Avni and she escaped from the hell. It gave me a sigh of relief. And my heartbeat started to slow its pace. Avni said “Where are you. You are supposed to be here” she shouted as if she was my boss. It’s a general tendency of a rajput he cant bear to be mastered so I asked rudely “So what information you got from the mission?” Her voice descended and she whispered “Sir I went there but it was so scary that I came back they are maniacs”. As I got edge over her argument I said “That mean you got no information and our mission failed if these people scares you so much then why did you agree for the mission”. She was silent as she had no answer and furiously I told her to go home by taking a taxi I was here for the mission and I would accomplish it after saying this I cut the call.

Now my problem was that I had no plan but people are not recognizing me that was a positive point of my case. As I was standing near a door I realized that no screams are audible now. Then one more question popped in my mind that if I should save the girl inside or proceed with the mission. My decision became simple as no screams were audible now so I preceded with my mission. Sometimes your profession forces you to take very tough decisions which many a times results into a lifetime question and you keep presenting reason for taking that decision for rest of your life. As I took the decision I stepped down the stares where the atmosphere was like a festival. A man saw me looking here and there, he came closer. He was the agent to help new visitors.

He said “Sir how can I help you”.

I replied ”What kind of help will you offer to me”.

He said ”Sir I can provide you with all kinds of stuff which you require”.

As I was aware that there might be some teen girls here whom these people were forcing into business. So I said” I require a strong unused product do you have it”. He smiled and said “Sir you came on the right day we have excellent products in our stock just you need to spend more”. I replied with my mischievous smile to assent. Sometimes your gesture talks you need no words and specially in this kind of area where words are illegal half of the discussion takes place in gesture. He told me his name Sheshrao. These agents specially tell there name so that your friend or any other person who wants these things, should come first to him. Its there way of advertisement. He asked me to follow him. He went inside a two storey building climbed first floor but our destination was not there all the buildings were linked with each other so we walked through various building to finally reach the destination. The way to this place was so confusing that I tried hard to remember it but still failed.

As we went there I saw a table which resembled a reception all ultra modern things were present over there. But there was no lady receptionist instead there sat a muscular man with 9mm pistol in his hand. He saw me angrily my agent told him that I am a client. He stood up I thought he would check me and I had a pistol in my pocket. He came closer to me and said “Do you possess enough money”. I replied “How much”. He said “10 thousand `” I internally calculated that I should have 5000 ` in my pocket only but also a pistol. As I possessed pistol they would give me discount. That reception man opened the gate for us. I noticed that the gate was very heavy and you needed to have enough strength to open it. As we went inside I saw marble flooring and sofas. Half of the poor population sleeps without eating while we have marble flooring and sofas here. We sat on the nearby sofa and we were waiting for our turn. Then my agent said “Sir do you need something more in room”. As I was trying to pretend my self as a very addictive man toward girls and alcohol I replied “I want to have a bottle of bear” He immediately replied “which brand?” As I never saw a beer bottle in my life and was aware of some famous brand who advertise on television. But my confusion was that are they beer company or whisky or rum. As I didn’t even knew the difference between them. So playing safe I said “whatever you like as I want to experience a alcoholic girl then these alcohol will be nothing in front of her”. He smiled looking at me it was the signal that my dialogue worked. He replied ”There are also many thing available here besides girl which can satisfy you”. I shook my shoulder in the posture of asking him more about the things which he is talking. He further said” we have some drugs just try it it will make you fly high in the sky”. With this discussion I came to know that not only girls, but these people deals in narcotics as well. I said okay I will try flying in the sky this night provide that also. He said ”its costly” I said “Add it in my bill”. A man came near and signaled us to come in. My agent first moved towards him and whispered many things in his ears. And came back and said ”Okay sir I am going they will provide you with what you ordered”. That man signaled me to come in. I went inside a room there was no one in the room just one old lady fat lady eating some tobacco and chewing it. She resembled a buffalo. I went towards her she said ”Choose what you want”. Four to five strong men holding hair of teen girls brought seven to eight girls just pulling them like animal. When you are a boy who was taught to respect woman from childhood and when you had never disrespect any girl physically in your life then to see someone doing it is also very difficult. Its just like someone is doing this kind of things with your family members and you are helpless. My heart was actually crying for those girls. I had done lots of mischievous acts with girl like commenting on them etc. but this act was so barbaric that I had tears in my eyes. But police are not allowed to cry. All girls were brought near me so that I could choose. All of them were looking at me with their helpless deep penetrating eyes which were asking why you are doing this with me when I had done nothing against you.

I was unable to make eye contact with them but then also I have chosen the best amongst them. She was a 16-17 year old sweet girl, very pretty but her beauty was disturbed by her sad face. Her eyes glittering like sun in the sky but had drop of tears in it like clouds disturbing the sun rays to fall on earth. Her helpless look was making me uncomfortable. That fat old lady shouted” Choose”. I pointed towards her. As I pointed towards her I saw a disappointment on her face but she was hiding it as she knew that she is helpless and there is no escape without accepting the reality. One of those strong men held her while others took all other girls inside, that man again dragged her towards a room opened the room threw her inside and just locked the room. The fat lady said “Go”. She was ordering me like she was police commissioner and I was her peon but I was also following her commands as a servant. People lose their self respect just because of their greed. Many people who might be experts in their field came here and lost their self respect to this buffalo just for the sake of their sexual satisfaction. They forget that gaining self respect is the biggest achievement and satisfaction they can earn doing small job also with expertise. To maintain my self respect I gave a weird look to that fat aunty. Its good way to represent your anguish before anybody.

I went to the room where that man threw that girl. As I was opening the door once again my phone vibrated it was 10 o’clock and generally I don’t receive call at this time. I saw screen it was flashing “Home”. I thought if my mom came to know that I am standing in a brothel, she would certainly have a heart attack. I saw here and there to pick my phone and said slowly “yes mom”. Mom said in concerned voice where are you and when are you going to come home. I saw here and there saw many men around place so if was difficult for me to tell that when I am going to come and the big question was would I get the chance to go home alive after this as even when these people don’t identify me I had money short then they will check my purse and pocket where I had gun and my identity card. So it was very difficult for me to escape from there. But as I had to reply mom I said “mom I am going to stay at my friends place tonight”. With my answer I recognized moms displeasure then she asked that “are you with that girl your partner”. I replied no mom she went to her home an hour ago we are not in any duty right now. My mom had a concern that I should not roam around with a girl so late. She didn’t want us to develop any romantic angle but she didn’t know that where I am standing I couldn’t roam around with girl just I could sleep with the girl. After I cut the call I looked here and there people were starring at me with their suspicious eyes.

I went inside the room with fear. The fear was of what should be done up next as I got the information that these people deal in narcotics its enough to raid the place but it was of no use until I found the source who supplies these things. I knew that javed was chief of these people who operates but there was no proof against him. It was all roaming in my mind until I saw that beauty in front of me. She was continuously watching me coming inside, her eyes praying for mercy from me while the atmosphere and her looks were encouraging me to lose my virginity as well. But as far as my ethics were concerned they mostly concentrated on her eyes as she was not a sex symbol to me she was like a victim and I had to save her. I stepped near her finding me closer she tried to move away from me. Even I signaled her to relax with my hand but she was frightened so much that she didn’t notice my hands. I went near bed and sat on that as there was nothing there to sit except bed. I noticed a pair to shoes standing just on the other side of the door. Even I noticed an eye peeping through the key hole. I knew that these people had a doubt on me and they were spying me. The shadows of the shoes were comfortably visible from inside but then also I behaved as if I didn’t see them spying on me.

Now I got that I had to do something otherwise they would come to know that I was a cop. So I went towards that girl held her forcefully she tried escaping but she was unable to do so. I decided that if I kiss her the person standing there would feel that everything was normal. So I held her face firmly and moved her hair on the back. Previously whenever I saw her my concentration was her eye as most of her face was covered by her hair. But this time when I moved her hair back her face was now visible to me. She was really a masterpiece. I found no flaw in her beauty she was white as milk even touching her was like sin as even my touch would spoil her beauty. Her face was just 6cm away from me but I was finding myself reluctant to kiss her. I felt that I was doing some kind of sin by kissing her without permission. Even it was also decided that I will not proceed more that but I was not able to justify my act to myself. It was as if I was fighting a case in the court where I was the accused, I was the lawyer and I was the judge. So I left her but I was getting spied so I pushed her on the bed. She was so delicate that even the push on a high quality foam cushioned bed would hurt her. Now as I pushed her, she was now lying on the bed. I was a novice in this matter so it was very difficult for me to act intimate or to convince that man that I was going to fuck her. But I had seen many hindi film rape scenes so to act according to them I jumped on her. My whole body was now lying on her I could feel the heat. The girl started crying but as a good actor I never looked at her I began kissing her neck. Even her nape was so beautiful that I enjoyed kissing her there. I continuously shifted the side of neck from one side to other. I continued the procedure for next 15 min as I knew only this. After 15 min I looked towards the door the man was still spying us. I thought today my brahmacharya was surely going to break. My brain started processing now what next I should do. Then I decided and held her firmly. She was wearing a jeans and a top so I pulled her top off. Now I again followed my hindi film scene. I swear I didn’t looked at her after pulling her top off. But I was experiencing the rising of the body heat as well as the rising sound in which she was yelling and pleading me for mercy. But I ignored all the sound and followed the neck kissing scene for 10 more minute. After 10 min I looked at the door I found no one. He might be bored as I was not at all doing anything. As I saw no one there I left the girl and gave her top back and said “wear this “. Even she was shocked about what I instructed her to do. She gave a wonderful shocking expression this was the time when I saw her eyes again after that I was not able to control my eyes. It was a very difficult job for a guy to restrict his vision even the most gentleman could sometimes lose his vision it’s very common for all guys. She dressed herself at the supersonic speed the maximum she could after that she looked at me. Her eyes were wet but the flow of tear came to halt. I took a big bed sheet which was provided to us instructed her to come in. She hesitated to follow my orders as she might have thought that I was going to do something weird. But with trust she came inside I rolled us firmly so that our face would only be visible from outside whosoever looked at us would find face only and no one could judge looking at what we are actually doing. The girl followed all the instruction I gave her like moving closer to me keeping bed sheet properly etc. It gave me confidence that she began to trust me. After all adjustments we both slept parallel to each other without touching each other at all. My face was towards her and she was facing me it was a perfect position to talk with her. But if somebody looks from outside it would be seen as if we were doing something weird. When we settled down I started the conversation,

”I am cop”. She held both of her eye brows high in surprise. I love when somebody does so. She said “Save me”. I replied, “ I am here to save you but its not easy to escape from here”. She showed a disappointing expression after listening to this. I asked “who are you?” She told me that, “I am from a small city named bhagalpur in uttarpradesh. I was a good student and parents were also encouraging me to study further. While we didn’t have a single student in the village who had studied more than 10th standard. So society was opposing me to study further as we didn’t have higher education in our village we had to go to the nearby town for studies. Son of the minister of our area proposed me looking at my beauty but I had my ambitions to study hard. Some people are unable to accept the refusal. So to take revenge, he kidnapped me. But somehow I managed to escape from the place where they kept me. I managed to sit in a train where my fellow passenger offered me some food. As I was hungry I accepted their offering after sometime I felt sleepy. After my sleep when I opened my eyes I found my self in a brothel. Its called destiny I managed to escape once but destiny runs faster than me and it caught me. I interrupted between the story ”So you found yourself here”. She further said, ”No it was some other place they brought us here in a container truck from which nothing was visible so I don’t know anything but in that truck there where some jute bags with white powder”. I said” So you were alone”. She said’ “No we were five girls one from west Bengal and others from Maharashtra”. “So all of you are here”

She said, ”Yes from whom you have chosen”.

Finding me very friendly she said “what rubbish I was doing with her?”

I replied “so do you want me to do something meaningful” I know it was a wrong time for a punch line but I couldn’t resist myself from that comment.

Then I further said ”someone was spying us therefore I was doing so” I managed to console her. I asked her that weather she knew more about any future program. She told me that she heard that new stock was going to come next Sunday. This sentence made my whole mission fruitful. Even I was aware that they used bring the stock in container trucks. After listening this my mission was over but my problem was how to escape then. And how to save this girl also as they were not going to leave her after knowing that a police officer was here. I stepped out of the bedsheet and went towards window. We were at first floor so jumping from there was not a big deal for me but I had to run with a girl now. I went near another window an open truck was standing there. I saw some bags in the truck they could act as a cushion when we would jump. But one more problem was that I was unable to trace where we actually were and where my bike was. As we
couldn’t run without our vehicle. I saw time it was 4 am it was very favorable time as it was the time when people sleep very deep so they would not notice small noise. I told her to get ready for a jump. She saw the depth and then turned to me to say “Do you really want me to jump?” “I cant jump”. I replied calmly” okay be here I am going”. She gave a disgusting look. I thought the girl who just got saved from being a prostitute is showing me attitude it is amazing. She said ”why don’t you hold me front and jump to your back so that you will get hurt”. I replied actually I also saw this in the latest movie but its not movie going on here. She was still not ready to jump so I told her to see the truck which had cushions there she was so stupid that she bent down to see it as she bent I gave her a push so that she fell in the truck. As she fell she looked at me in anger besides consoling her I said ”Move aside I also have to jump”. She moved and I jumped. Actually we made a very little sound as per our plan. I had a very comfortable jump as in our training this kind of jumps were common.

I saw the nearby area but it was difficult for me to trace where actually I was. I saw driver sleeping on the driver’s seat. I went close to him took out my pistol and then slowly pushed him in order to wake him up. As he woke I showed him my pistol and signaled not to make any noise. He said; “Sir who are you?” I replied shut up just drive. I signaled the girl to come in we sat just beside the driver I ordered driver to start the vehicle and just move. With my pistols fear he followed all the instruction I gave. When went out of the area I stopped the vehicle and ordered driver to step out of the vehicle. Firstly he hesitated to move out he might have been frightened for losing his job but then he preferred his life to be more important than job. As I came to the driver’s seat first question which come to my mind was where to go now. I couldn’t take this girl to my home as my parents would not have accepted her. Then only one person who could help me was Avni. I called her early morning she replied in very rude voice “hello”. ”. Naturally when somebody disturbs you when you are sleeping you never feel good even if that person is your boss . But she didn’t admire me also.

Rudra: “Hello what are you doing”.

It was a very senseless question to be asked at 5am. Avni: “Sir I was sleeping”.

Rudra: “So that means you are at home I am coming there I have to tell you lots of things about last night”.

Avni: “Okay sir”.

We went to Avni’s home she welcomed us. She was wearing pajamas I don’t know why I always find a girl sexy in her nightwear. Apart from this I concentrated on explaining all the things which happened yesterday. I told her that we need help we have to protect the girl now. After 15 minute of my continuous appeal at last avni gave her assent for keeping that girl at her home. As my argument finished Avni asked that girl what is your name. Then I realized that with whom I had spent whole night I didn’t asked her name yet actually boys don’t have habit of discussing useless things like what is your name, which village, how much you have studied. All these question come in the minds of girls only. The girl replied in a slow voice ”Madhu”. I thought that even if the girl was from village but her parents gave her a modern name how rhetoric. And as per my prediction Avni began her rapid fire question round and Madhu answered all those I had no interest
in that so I got my time to monitor the house of Avni it was really mess I was able to see a towel on the sofa and a mountain of cloths in bed room. Generally its a perception that boys live untidily but I was not amongst them I loved cleanliness from my book shelf to my handkerchief I placed them in correct position and I never had any problem of misplacement. So whenever I saw untidy room I felt uncomfortable. After some time I asked Avni to go to police station on time and send somebody to pick the vehicle for seizure proceedings. I told her that I would be late as I had to go to home as I was not at home throughout the night. Avni nodded. I said I will go home after having a cup of tea. She smiled and said yes sure and she went inside kitchen. After she went Madhu came closer to me and said thank you sir for saving my life. I replied “Its okay beta”. I had this habit of saying beta to everyone it’s my symbolic expression of love. And as Madhu was younger than me she smiled and whispered “Is she your girlfriend”. The question was so direct that I blushed a little and answered no she is my colleague we work together. In reply she gave me a teasing smile.

Up till then Avni brought us tea. I tasted the tea it was a real disaster with less sugar and more of tea powder. After tasting tea I felt that it was good to have tea at home rather drinking the tea here. Many times you expect or plan something and feel it is best for you but sometimes it may becomes a trouble for you. After swallowing the tea like a medicine I went to my home.

I rang the door bell and saw my mom standing in front of me with angry eyes. But I didn’t know why I felt so happy looking at my mom as if I haven’t seen her for days. When you feel that you would not be able to go home back but somehow you reach there and see your mother and father it gives you immense happiness as if you have won any award. I hugged mom tightly mom felt that I was buttering her because I stayed at my friends home last night but that hug gave me so much power that I could fight with the world. In the world there are only two people who can never go against you when you are as the right was that’s your mom and dad. Even when you are fighting against whole world if your mom and dad support you it give you strength to overcome all the difficulties. So moms hug and father’s advice is priceless.

My mom angrily asked where were you last night. I told mom that just wait for the news bulletin to telecast your son then you will know where I was. “What !” mom exclaimed as if I was useless and first time I was doing something good. But I was confused that how to tell mom about brothel etc. we haven’t discussed these kind of things in our life. My mom asked but I didn’t answer I told her that you have to wait until we finish our operation. I called police station and ordered them to raid the area and find the minor girls and rescue them. This was my usual work I ordered these kind of things like an officer and when they raided we intelligence took all the fame it was a usual course of things as we took the risk of life. I went towards my bed for a short nap and after two hours I woke up and took the bath. I took out my best shirt in which I would look smart as I had to host a press conference after the raid. I looked at the clock it was the perfect time for me to go as they might had finished raiding and also they might had prepared the list of things that they got from there I just had to read it before the press. I was feeling very proud as the operation was my hard toiled work and I was going to get reward for that. Everybody loves fame even if not fame at least all require recognition for there work. I was also desperate for getting such fame.

I went to police station I saw all journalists came there. They were listening something I noticed that someone is addressing them. I thought it might be a general address but I noticed that the one who was addressing was Avni. I concentrated on what she was saying “We went to that place in disguise and collected all the information. We did this, we did that.” She was including her in every operation while she ran away in mid operation. She also told reporters that we found 50Kgs of drugs in the vehicle which was brought here to circulate innocent children. The inspector of police station interrupted and said madam herself seized such a large amount of drugs. All reporters clapped I moved closer to them when they noticed me. They told reporters that it is that officer who took part in the operation with Avni madam. It was as if she was my boss. In India most foolish people are media men they just require someone to make hero. They saw Avni as a heroine good looking, smart and did something which is not yet done by the girls so their full focus was on her to make her the hero of the operation. As the press conference finished one constable brought sweet for me and said “Sir have some sweet you all did wonderful task.” Listening that I felt proud of myself he further said “Avni madam did magic, she proved that she is the daughter of Mr. Sharma” all my pride kissed earth after listening to this. Avni came closer to me she gave her hand to congratulate while I shook the hand with no warmth in it. I went toward inspector he came closer and congratulated me for the success of mission. He told me that we have saved the life of 15 girls while we found several liters of illegal alcohol, 50Kgs of drugs and we have arrested 15 suspects but Javed ran away. He further told that the drug was in a vehicle which Avni madam seized from her home. I realized that the vehicle in which I escaped was full of drugs while I brought that to her home where she might have seen that. It was just the opposite of what I had planned for the press conference. Its just the same once again I didn’t get any recognition that I deserved. I was feeling so disgusting that I went home directly before any senior officer came to see the seizure. Considering that the senior officer will also hail for Avni’s greatness I ducked from there.

I went home mom hugged me and said you were also in the operation the reporter took your name also. I smiled a little I did not want to spoil my moms happiness as nobodies son gets in the news in our whole family. Even my father gave me a smile it was like Oscar to me. My father and me we talk symbolically if my dad smiled that means he is very happy, if he doesn’t talk to mom that means he is sad and when he ask mom about me even when I was sitting in the same room that means he is normal. As my family was happy with me it reduced my pain of not getting recognized. I went to my bedroom and sat in front of mirror. I looked at myself I found rage, disappointment and sadness stuffed inside. I looked in my eyes I saw ego and attitude. Then I thought how much time these people are going to live with fake identity I was better living unrecognized yet potential. It is better to be unrecognized than to be recognized for what you haven’t done. If I am not recognized that does not mean that I am falling from my place it means that I am still in the place where I was. While the most disappointing fact was is when people make you sit on a higher position and when you don’t live up to their expectation they would just drop you. At least I am not living with the fake identity. After sitting in front of mirror for15 minutes and thinking deeply about the matter now I started feeling good. Mirror helps me in finding myself.

After some normal days I went to Avni’s place to meet Madhu. As I entered I saw a very small girl sitting wearing a long salwar kurta which was bigger than her size. As we made Madhu a witness in our case we had to protect her and take care of her. I noticed that she might be wearing the dress of Avni. Avni came from inside and said “How are you sir”. I replied “as I was earlier”. I wanted her to know that I was not happy with what she did. She didn’t mind coz some dumb don’t even realize the comments thrown upon them. “Nirlajjam sada sukhi” which means shameless ones are always happy. After some usual talk I told Avni that I would take Madhu out she might be feeling boring staying at one place. She nodded in assent. As she nodded Madhu went inside washed her face put all those talcum powder, bindi and other sort of cosmetics which girls feel appropriate and natural to move in market place. I don’t know why girls do this kind of things if you tell a boy lets go somewhere he will come with you without even changing the cloths but girls have this manufacturing defect all want to look good even if when god made them good looking they still want to enhance there capacity of looking good.

I thought Madhu is from village she might not have seen any mall lets take her there. We went to a near by mall I saw a sort of happiness and enthusiasm on her face that was missing. We went towards escalator where I saw hesitation on her face but she just copied me for climbing up. We went to a cloth showroom Madhu was wearing very ridiculous cloth which were not fitting on her. I told her to choose any cloth she began the shopping as most female love doing this. I monitored the mall as the same fear of getting any relative. But I was not much afraid as I was with Madhu as we had a age gap of 7 years so even if anybody saw me with her they will first think that she might be my younger cousin. After an hour of vigorous search as if she was on some treasure hunt decided to take a T-shirt which was tagged buy 1 get 3 free. I was aware that she will be in need of 4 T-shirts but in disguising the purpose with the offer she chosen the cloth. She might be shy for asking me to buy 4 different T-shirts. That shows how nice she was. As I was police officer it was my job to find the intension of the people for any act they do.

After shopping we went to a restaurant and also called Avni there. Madhu said “You did all the things but all the fame is taken by commissioner and Avni didi”. It was the question I didn’t want to answer but as she witnessed every thing she deserved to ask me the question. As I was answerless I shook my shoulder to convey my helplessness. “So have you tried to contact your family” said I. “I don’t want to contact them” said she. Rudra: “But your call will make them happy”.

Madhu: “I know but the people of my village will not let them live properly knowing that

I spent the days in a brothel”.

Rudra: “Screw the people your family members will find a new life knowing you are alive they might be thinking that you are dead”.

Madhu: “I am better dead. Once I return home life will become hard for my sisters too. They do deserve a better life”.

Rudra: “So what will you do here”.

Madhu: “Might go in some NGO where I will finish my studies and as god brought me in such a good city I will find my destiny myself”.

That was a very brave statement it enhanced her respect in my eyes. I actually love self

reliant made people or the people who know what they need to do in future.

Avni came she was looking very beautiful Madhu gave me a teasing smile. But after the press conference I didn’t know why I was not able to experience that charm in her. Actually I needed a very sweet girl who is innocent but I was not able to find that in avni now. May be she looked very beautiful but my heartbeats did not rise for her anymore. We had a very good dinner that day avni fed us ice cream after the dinner. I don’t like girls to pay before me but after spending `

2000 on dress and dinner I could allow the girl to pay after all I was a poor police officer and now a days bribe was also less. It was totally fun that day as if I was hanging out with my friends. That day I missed my friends very much.

I went to terrace where I called my old friend Anup. We became friends for a very short span of time when I started studying. I owe my carrier to him as he taught me many things which I wasn’t able to understand through teachers. I also helped him to approach a girl as these studious kinds of boys fear too much. And it was my duty to help my friend as I was encyclopedia during my college days. But now I was without girls while he might be somewhere at some position having lots of girls around him. After so much time I was hesitating to call him a friend but I was full of friendship fever I called him.

Rudra: “Hello”. Anup: ”Thank you”.

Rudra: “Thank you for what I am Rudra calling remember me”.

Anup: “Of course yaar how can I forget you I think you called me to congratulate”. Rudra: “Why what happened”.

Anup: “Today it was my CA final result and I have passed that”. Rudra: “Wow yaar that’s fantastic”.

Anup: “What are you doing”. Rudra: “I am police officer”. Anup: “That’s too fantastic”.

We both became silent for some time as our words ended there.

Anup: “Look I am giving a party at hotel LB for my celebration you must come”. Rudra: “Sure yaar I will surely come”.

After talking to a very old friend you feel very relaxed. A smile comes to your face. Even you don’t have words to say but still have so many expressions to convey. Its great to have a CA friend. I have heard that CA exams are tough to clear but my friend did it listening this I felt proud.

Somedays went in post operation investigation where I was accompanied with Avni but I was not able to enjoy her company at all. This was fight of self esteem versus heart. Even when I had something for her but now my feelings of self respect and ego were not letting me to hear my heart. Suddenly the situation changed in two days. Now I got my old buddies say even a minute can change your life. Now her company was like curse to me even I was not able to concentrate on my job properly. Even she began to lead me now which was unbearable for me. Fighting with my conscience I decided that I will ask for transfering me to the new place as even spending few minutes with her were difficult for me. We rajputs have this inbuilt problem of ego they can not bear a single word against them. Even I knew that most of the Rajput kings died fighting for their ego and so called pride but history suggests that the one who keep calm always win but in spite of knowing this but still that factor was present in me. Its very difficult to be rajput as from childhood when you cry parents say “You are rajput, you should not cry”. The feeling of ego is also taught from childhood as we are rajput we are born to lead, we the sons of kings have to maintain pride like them. Even I was intelligent to know this but still I couldn’t keep calm my blood from boiling when I saw Avni.

So one day I decided that I would apply for a transfer and I would tell at home that it was compulsory so that they won’t know about the matter. Instead I could tell my parents that they are giving me better assignment as I showed good performance. I submitted the letter to commissioner after that my whole day went in thinking about my decision. At 8 pm I got a message that “you are invited to LB hotel tomorrow so enjoy the party. Be prepared with your dance as it is a DJ party. Your presence is valuable for us so come positively – Anup, Gopal, Shubham & Arjun”. Three names Gopal, Aman & Arjun was unknown to me but Anup was my friend so I knew that it must be his CA Final celebration party. Next day I took a glance at my dresses to wear at party they were all shirts and pants. I thought that I was missing my life. After becoming police I lost myself. I again went in front of mirror I found myself disappointed, loser chap while during college days failing in the exam was no big deal for me. Certainly time changes and so do people I went to a garment store and bought the cargo a stylish trouser to wear at party also I bought a trendy T-shirt so that I must look trendy enough to match them.

As I entered the hall the lights were off while loud music was on where so many boys were dancing. As I entered the girls and boys standing nearby looked at me their eyes asking who’s this. I thought that Anup was the only one whom I know and where he was?. I saw Anup he was dancing with his friend he didn’t change at all. He was the same as I saw him few years ago. I went near him he was so busy dancing that he was not able to see me. I touched his shoulder then he turned towards me after seeing me he shouted “Rudra, How are you..?” I replied “I am fine”. As I finished he hugged me tightly. That hug really made me imagine my old days how king sized I lived while today I am no one in the department. As there was lots of noise Anup brought his mouth near my ears and said I want you to meet our some more friends. He took me towards our old friends from sure college days I never talked to them but they all met me with such a warmth that I felt regret about the past. One of them told me that Anup secured 8th rank all over India listening to this I congratulated him again. I was standing with them as Anup was the organizer he has to meet with all the guests. But we had no common topic to talk about so we stood silent after some time one of them said lets dance they all went towards dance floor and also took me. They all were good dancers so I was copying them later on the charge of the atmosphere took me over and I started dancing like hell. The kite step, the snake steps and father of all we produced train there. Gaurav one of my old friend we became such good friends while dancing that we exchanged the numbers and promised to be in touch always.

The party made me realize that who am I and what I deserve. Taking a transfer is like running away from the problems. If I have some problems I need to work on it the fame is not what should be built a reputation is needed to be built and that comes with the efflux of time. I needed to work hard to build a reputation rather running towards fame. Anup was really a very low profile boy nobody in the college ever recognized him but today he is the most reputed one. Even he won friends, reputation, girl whose information I gave him. He deserved therefore he got if I deserved something automatically the thing would come towards me. Its Law of attraction a boy named Aman told me this while dancing. I never got the theories of these scholars as to understand that you require intellect which I did’t possess so to make it simple I got that you have to aspire for things and work upon to get these intelligently. So I went to commissioner’s office next day morning to reverse my application but one of the clerks told me that it was forwarded to commissioner yesterday only. So I thought a little but then I decided to approach the commissioner. I knocked his door and said “may I come in”. He welcomed me in by waving hand, he was busy talking over the phone. I went inside and sat on a chair he was still in the conversation. After listening conversation I got that he was talking to his daughter and was convincing her not to go for a late night movie with her friends. Its very bad habit of some of the bosses they talk on the phone on some domestic matters in front of their subordinates. It was also disgusting to hear that commissioner was busy resolving his domestic issues rather than of city. I saw my application lying on the table I took it and put it inside my pocket. As Commissioner finished the conversation he looked towards me. Now my problem was what to say to commissioner about my visit to his office as the purpose of the visit is already served. He looked towards me so that I could start the conversation but I had no words so he started saying,” It’s very good that you are here I wanted to talk to you”. I replied “Yes Sir”. He further said,” in the last operation you did a wonderful and fabulous work, I know the real hero by just looking at their face”. With this sentence I felt proud. “So looking at your performance I want you to do a job for me”. The word for me made me frightened as I don’t want to do any domestic work for a commissioner. In reply I nodded he further said “As you know the master mind behind all that dirty work which is spoiling our city has escaped”. I said”Javed.. yes sir” “Look I have a information that javed is migrating towards other state once he crosses the state limit it will make our job difficult so I want you to arrest him within the border of our state”. “I thought it was the real mission given to me first time in my life”. Commissioner further said” you will be accompanied with Ms. Avni and Anubhav in this mission. As Anubhav is doing duty in the same area he can help you and Avni can help you both in your mission. Anubhav can use has experience while Avni is young and talented you have to synchronies energy of these people to give me the positive result”. I thought really the world is a vicious circle the things you are running away falls in your way. I was going for the mission with two famous ones as a subordinate.

That night I thought that its better to be defamed at least the risk of performance of operation will go their head. It was late night I was lying on my bed as next day morning we had to leave for Dantewada to meet Mr. Javed the son in law of government. It was always good lying on the bed watching roof of my house and thinking about something. After a quick recap of all those incidents happened in my life my brain stopped at Madhu. Her innocent face and water filled eyes grabbed my attention. I began to think about her future. What would she do now? And Madhu would make her stay in her home until she needs her for the case. Various options flashed in my mind then. One was to make her agree to go back home, other was to make her study again next was to marry Avni and let her live with us forever. Last option was my favorite but suddenly I remembered that my mom had requested me to find a paying guest as we had a spare room which was not in use so mom decided to lend that room to somebody to acquire additional income. I thought why not to make Madhu come to my home where I could monitor her growth.

She was kind of my responsibility as I freed her so I had to finish my operation until I develop her to certain level. When I was deciding about what explanation to give to mom my phone beeped. It was a message which read “Guess who I am..?” It was shocking for me as generally people do not message me it was kind of prank generally college students play. I answered saying “Sorry I can’t guess?” Immediately reply came “At least one wild guess”. I thought it might be my cousin, Prachi she is the only one who play pranks otherwise others think that I am a serious guy. I replied ”Prachu”. “NO, but who is this pra…chu…”. Actually I love this kind of teasing as I spent my college days doing these things I never got chance of having such chat on my phone guessing the name of an unknown. I also replied immediately “then who..?” after a time gap of 5 min reply came I spent these 5 minute in guessing. It was written”Mr. Inspector I am Madhu”. I was shocked as how did she message as she didn’t possess any phone as far as my knowledge was concerned. I replied “How did you get this cell phone”.

Madhu: “Actually I stole some money from that fat lady Fatima” said she. Rudra: “you are confessing crime before a police officer.

Madhu: “you are my sweet heart police”.

Sweet heart is the most confusing word in the dictionary it has several meanings. Onus of deducing the correct meaning falls on you. I didn’t bother to derive meaning

Rudra: ”Yes I remember that Fat lady saying get inside fast making the expressing as if she

would eat me”

Madhu: “I also saw your nervous face while entering”. Rudra: “I thought you were religiously crying”.

Madhu: “So what a crying girl has a right to watch her customer”. Rudra: “So how do you feel about me as your customer”.

Madhu: “You were okay at least better than others”.

Rudra: “So that means that you would have accepted me as your first customer”.

Madhu: “Noooo. but at least you were better than others so if there would be an irresistible situation then you would have been okay than others”.

Rudra: “That means I got the sex appeal”. Madhu: “I cant answer this”.

Rudra: “That means I don’t”.

Madhu: “Avni did will give better opinion than me”. Rudra: “Hmmm then ask her”.

Madhu: “So you want me to do all the proceedings take the risk propose her then if she says yes

then you yourself ask her”.

Rudra: “Actually I am not interested in her”. Madhu: “So on whom do you have interest?” Rudra: “You”.

Madhu: “Please seriously”.

Rudra: “Okay thinking seriously Fatima was good”. Madhu: “Yes wild and sexy”.

Rudra:” Yes actually she was good”.

Likewise we had chat up to 3 am discussing and making fun of all the characters who came in our way while escaping. It was fun as this was the first time I was chatting with a girl so freely so relaxed as if I was chatting with a boy. First time I was using my phone to the optimum without caring about the balance money.

Next day in morning I told mom that I was going for work outstation will return after 2 to 3 days. And don’t take care of paying guest one of my friend need it for her sister. Mom asked me that is that girl also going with you. Moms are always present to rescue there son. I replied NO because I didn’t want my mom to live with the thought for next two days thinking about me and Avni. Dantewada is not far from our city just it require 3 hours of driving. First I thought of reaching there by train but I felt that going by bike would be worth as we would require bike there. So I went to Avni’s home.

As my bike reached there Madhu came out of home to welcome me. It was actually ethics she might be from a very good cultured home. I saw her she seemed to be a small kid she was wearing the dress I choose for her. Actually she was looking very pretty but as a child. She was actually very small so even when she looked pretty she seemed to be a child to me. She came towards me I said Hi and touched her cheeks as if I am talking to a child. Actually her cheeks were so cute that I couldn’t resist myself touching it. I asked her is your sister ready. She replied Yes, your would be is ready. She had the guts of saying anything infront of me. I replied “No she is nothing to me, might be my boss”. Suddenly Avni appeared she was also looking hot but I didn’t stared at her as I did fewdays ago.

I don’t know why its my inbuilt mechanism when I start hating somebody its very difficult to generate feelings again for them. I was not feeling comfortable with her. Also I was aware that she might had noticed that I was not happy with her by my behavior. But it was obligatory for me to work with her. I symbolically made an expression that Lets move she also nodded in assent. We started our journey it was bright sunshine but as we crossed city automatically whether became cold. I was all chilled out around us and road was blank. We were alone on the long road it was quite romantic situation but my ego was not allowing me to feel comfortable with her. Sometimes my heart diverted me for a compromise as weather was good and I was accompanied with a good looking girl as well as men will always be men some feelings grew in me but ego curbed it down. As a true rajput self respect is above all even love. Avni tried to start a conversation but as I was not interested I just answered in yes or no to shortened our conversation. After half an hour of quite driving she became restless and she put her head on my head and lay upon me to have a nap. It was also romantic but when you don’t have feelings for such a girl and she lay upon you then you begin to feel the weight of the girl. After trying to take a nap she found herself unable to sleep then she sat straight. After some minutes she brought her lips closer to my ear and said very softly will you stop the bike. I slowed down my bike and parked it along the road side. On both side of the road it was thick forest. I jumped from the bike and moved towards the corner of the road I turned around as I felt it would be natures call to her. But I heard a puking sound and when I turned around I saw her sitting on the corner of the road vomiting. I ran towards her she saw me and tried to stand I signaled her to sit and not to stand until she felt well. I took out water bottle from my bag and offered her a sup. After sometime when she felt better she came to me and said lets go. I told her that don’t hurry up. But she said no lets go. I started the bike she sat behind and we started our journey. This time I started conversation and said “are you okay now”.

Avni nodded in assent. Rudra: why what happened ?

Avni: It was because of acidity last night I slept very late. Rudra: “Had breakfast..?”

Avni: “No but I ate some toast with tea”.

I felt that I should have asked her this at the beginning of the journey so that she could had ate something in the city. But I was aware that I had enough as my mom never lets me go without having breakfast. You need not care for yourself when you have a mom whose so caring with you.

Rudra: “We will be reaching a nearby town within 15 min there you can eat something”. After a pause for a minute she again started talking.

Avni: “Are you angry with me”.

I didn’t want to answer this but as she was ill I had sympathy for her so this time I didn’t want to be rude.

Rudra: No, but why?

Avni: I noticed that now a days you don’t talk to me you avoid talking to me.

(I knew that what ever she was saying was absolutely correct but I could not accept this infront of her) I replied “No it is not like that why do you feel so”.

Avni: No everything is not normal between us you avoid talking to me its all changed after that operation. I know that I failed to work upto your expectation therefore you are angry.

(Actually I was angry for some other reason but as I saw the discussion running in my favor I thought that acceptance of such excuse would not harm my reputation while she will not think that I am fame crazy).

Rudra: “Its okay you atleast tried you are courageous girl.

(During discussion I felt that being a girl she did a fabulous job so she deserve the media attension. While discussing I started feeling that whatever I was thinking was wrong my mind was running with negative energy while I was a very positive man before. This greed is the thing which restrict your sensibility and reasoning. You cant see beyond the curtain of greed and while discussing I felt that I was such a hopeless man. Sometimes you feel that all you did for the month was rubbish and you even have no chance of correcting it).

Avni: I tried my best but it was not what we planned. Actually I didn’t fear my life but operation was such that it would have spoiled my whole life. I think you understand what I am saying. While I was roaming there I saw one of my neighbor so I felt that my one step would spoil my whole life I live here with no family so It was very tough for me to take any decision there is no one here to stand with me.

Rudra: I am there to help you or stand by you any time in your life.

Avni: (Her voice gained strength) Will you help me during any phase of my life or standby me through the ups and down in my life.

(I thought that our discussion is running in some other direction which I was not able to forecast but I had to give answer so I nodded).

She smiled and said “so Mr. Rudrasingh Thakur will you slow down your bike for a while”. I thought that she might not be feeling well so I stopped my bike on the side of the road. She jumped off the bike slowly came infront of the bike and signaled me to take off my helmet. I thought she might be in some serious worry I took off my helmet. She slowly brought her lips near my mouth and I suddenly felt as if some warm sweet dish was touching my lips. It was so warm feeling that even in the cold weather my sweat came out. It was so nice feeling that I closed my eyes and enjoyed every part of the moment. When she left me I was watching her with a expression on my face asking her question what’s this..? She started conversation saying that its my question to you for a life time don’t hurry up in answering as it’s the question of our life.

I was actually shocked by her act. It was something what I never expected the big question infront of me was that what she did was right or wrong. Being a girl you propose somebody it was a very daring act and before doing such enact any girl would have thought for 100 times but as she did it proved that she loved me from the bottom of my heart and she was so serious that she was not ready for me to proceed. Her act forced me to think about her. Actually I had heard in many movies that you should love the one who loves you. All that happened earlier seemed as irrelevant to me. And I hugged her tightly to show my consent. Hugging her I felt as if I was holding my whole world near my chest and I wished this moment should never end in my life.

We restarted our journey. Everything happened in such a hurry that I was not able to believe that happened it was not what I planned in my dream. I had a plan of proposing a girl with a chocolate cake and a card having my own poetry describing my feelings then a long chat at a cozy lake side and lastly a dinner in a good restaurant but it all happened in such a hurry that all my planning’s was now a dream but I could still perform the same after going back to our city. She was now sitting like a girlfriend behind me on my bike. She had a good contact with my body and during discussion she was touching me every now and then. It was a little awkward for me as I didn’t like somebody touching me. Actually I had no clue how to deal with a girl friend as I didn’t had any contact with any girl neither any of my friend had so that they could share their experience with me. She was lying upon me with all her weight on me trying to chat but I had no clue on what topic I should talk. Actually whenever I saw any couple sitting and having a long talk I always asked myself that on what topic they talked so much. The only things I could talk about were cricket, politics and bollywood in these field I had ample knowledge otherwise I was dumbo in other topics. She tried talking with me about looks and all those accessories which she were actually she wanted me to praise her about her looks her style but as I had very small information on this topic I was unable to say anything. Then she talked about my shoes my jacket but still I had no clue as all the things I were purchased by my home minister that’s mom including my undergarments I had no choice in purchasing these thing whatever she brought I wore all those things. So still we were unable to converse. Then she talked about mobile phones still I was silent at last we talked about the case this time I had the proper information what to do up next. I told her that if Javed wants to run he would never prefer main road he would take small by-pass so that we should not be able to track his movements. But she was of contrary view she thought that if he has to run he would prefer the fastest road to move out rather moving through the by-pass and spending unnecessary time in this state.

We went directly to the police station to meet Anubhav. He was actually such a personality that I always feared to face but he was a good friend as we spent so much time together. As I entered the station I saw Anubhav sitting like a king, while all constables standing he has that attitude that everyone behave nicely infront of him. It was always a very happy experience watching any dearest friend and I also considered him as my teacher who taught me how to fight against crime. He also smiled watching me. I went near him.

Anubhav: So Rudra how are you? Rudra: I am good sir, how are you? Anubhav: What do you think?

This kind of sentence made him admirable. A personality you should follow. Rudra: Sir you are the same as you were.

Anubhav: Actually you have lost so much of weight. Is it because of work load or new partner.

Avni was just standing nearby it is always awkward to face the situation that someone teasing you with a girls name and that girl is standing nearby. But she didn’t mind it as we were really in a relationship. Hearing it Avni smiled and shook hand with Anubhav saying “Avni Sharma”. Anubhav: So Mr. Rudra why didn’t you capture Javed there itself.

Rudra: Sir I tried my level best by blocking all the ways to escape from city but I don’t know how he got successful in running out of the city.

Anubahv: No problem we will catch him here. Rudra: I know sir its his bad luck as you are here.

He smiled a little who wont smile hearing the these kinds of words.

Anubhav told his plan that he got the information that they are coming in red colored car. His informers saw them coming towards us they might reach here approximately in 30 minutes. He planed to trap them by putting some tree on the road and we hiding at some nearby place the moment someone comes out to clear their way we would arrest them. It was a very good plan but then I saw a bypass which they could prefer rather than going through the high way but as Avni and Anubhav both felt that they would come via highway I have to shut my mouth. There were only 6 constable in that police station so we had to do the operation with the help of Anubhav and one more constable. So my concern was that if only four of us go they may come in large numbers with destructive weapons in this case we may had to bear serious injuries. But I was not the boss and two famous officer were with me I need not to do much. Even I decided that I was not going to lead this time let the famous once perform according to there fame.

We went to the high way as per our plan as tree was not there we placed some big rock to restrict their path. But tree was a natural element rock was artificial anybody could easily guess that it was a trap but as usual nobody could talk against Anubhav. So we hide ourself behind some overgrown grass but this time also I disagreed as the distance from the road was nearly 10 meter if we would run 10 meters to catch someone they would have enough time to fire on us and that too we were just four. Avni was of very follower kind so she follows anybody without applying her brain actually she was trying to make a good image in front of Senior inspector. I hate this habit. I followed according to their plan knowing that they were putting my life into a risk. We waited half an hour for the car to come but instead many trucks came who cleared the way by placing rocks on the side of the road and as they did we ran to put them back again. As we were only four and Anubhav was boss and Avni was girl I had to do all such laborious work with that constable. After sometimes informers of Anubhav told him that they took the by-pass route instead of following the high way. After listening this Anubhav looked at me smiling he had no answer even Avni saw me. I told them that this by-pass is a long route we could catch them by driving through the high way and reaching the place where this by-pass meets the high way. They both nodded as they had no other option but to follow me now I became the leader. Actually every Rajput is a born leader some or the other ways his leading abilities come out. Now I sat on the drivers seat of our police van. As the authority came my way I felt as the leader and as if I was a bollywood movie hero on a mission. I drove fast even Anubhav was thrilled by my driving, The constable sitting next to me was looking me as if I am an Alien. While driving I saw a red car in my way I drove towards it while overtaking it when we were parallel I saw it was a family car not what we were searching for. But now as I was feeling like a leader the fire of searching and arresting him engulfed me. While I was driving fast Avni and Anubhav wore their bulletproof jackets and also got their guns ready as I was driving all my accessories were at my backseat. I raised my speed went towards the point where road connects the by-pass. I saw the red car passing by, the speed of the car was also fast. I thought that if I want to stop them I need to overtake them and block of them so that they would get no way to move anywhere so in order to implement my idea I further raised speed and overtook the car and stopped like a movie car but in movies the car stops at correct time it was not the case with us. The red car dashed us and the impact was so high that the red car got imbalanced and fell upside down on the corner of the road. While my right leg dashed the gear box and other three managed to save themselves from any injuries. After the accident my new question was that the car which fell upside down had javed or it had innocent people. Anubhav began his lecture “Are you mad do you know what you are doing we would have died due to you”. He also had this question in his mind that who was there in that car but our query resolved as we heard a bullet being fired at us which went past us without injuring anybody. We all bent down. I was frightened as my leg was injured and also I had no gun in my hand. Few more bullets were fired upon us but they all went to injure our police van even one bullet hit our side mirror watching it Avni screamed. Watching a police officer screaming was also a funny moment in itself. But it was the time to counter attack so I shouted “Charge”. This dialogue was of leaders generally but as I was feeling myself as leader, I snatched the opportunity from Anubhav. But nobody responded to my call. I looked back towards Anubhav his hands were shivering as if he had heard the sound of bullet for the last time. We had eye contact his eyes were depicting the emotion of misery, fear and helplessness. I understood that he is not going to do anything. When you admire any person to be your idol looking him in misery may not give you strength. But I was the real Rajput whenever the soldiers starts loosing confidence it’s the time for king to fight with them it may change the whole battle. I looked towards Avni she was hiding as if she was a civilian girl saving her beautiful face from any scratch. So I thought that now I had to do something but my leg was injured and lot of blood was visible. I shouted at the constable to take position he responded to my order as he also might had thought that he should respond to the person who can do something I opened the gate and snatched the gun from Anubhav’s hand. He looked at me with anguish he might have felt it as disrespect towards senior but I had no respect for him after watching him hiding like a coward. The constable counter fired here and there. So now they started shooting towards us. As the car fell on the other side of the road that side had an escape towards jungle with some rocks for using them as shelters during attack. The only shelter we had was the car. Now the situation was half of my army was not going to fight, I didn’t know the number of enemies their weapons, also I was not aware about there position they could shoot at us from any side of the forest and I also had an injured leg bleeding. But I never feared any thing when it’s the time to attack try not to know your negative points they may dampen your confidence so concentrate on your positive points i.e. nine bullets in my pistol and a constable who could fire anywhere. I opened the gate stepped on the road took my position and started looking towards jungle to find any moment there. I saw a head moving there I ran towards jungle somebody fired after looking me running towards them but I didn’t bother about where he fired I took their car to cover my body concentrated on the moving head and fired a bullet. I saw a body falling actually my bullet hit his head perfectly. After that I covered my body to listen any other moments somebody said “He killed him, he is dead”. I noticed the fear in his voice. “Anubhav is there we cant escape”. This sentence pinched me a little. I thought it’s the right time to invite them to surrender themselves otherwise if they fight with there full strength we would never win even we would lose our lives. Whole battle was a mind game actually I shouted “Do you want to surrender or want to die like your friend”. I was able to hear the discussion they were doing even I got the idea where they are. I decided I would give them two minutes otherwise I would shoot towards that direction. But I heard a voice “We are surrendering please don’t shoot”. A man came out with his hands up now a days criminal understands that we would order them to put their hands up so they do it without our initiative. I shouted throw your arms towards us he threw his pistol it was a 9mm Chinese pistol much more upgraded than what I had in my hand. I picked that pistol up in my hand I saw few more coming with their hands up they were total 6 while we were only two. Sometimes your mind make you win some battles. I saw Anubhav coming out as he saw them surrendering. Avni came out of the car like a fighting diva and started pointing her gun towards the man who are surrendering. They both were very interesting character. In frustration that I had to share my fame with these people I slapped a surrendering criminal and asked who is Javed amongst you. He pointed fingered towards the dead body. Actually I shoot down their leader which changed the course of the battle. But our prime objective was to arrest Javed alive. Whatever happened was actually good when somebody takes the fame of doing the operation correctly he need to take the blame of the death of Javed as well. Let the Anubhav be transferred once again to any naxal prone area. In this world somebodies death becomes the smile of many.

The post operation period was the same what I had expected it to be. As I got hair line fracture in my leg I had to spend some time in the hospital so all events from the press conference to department felicitation was enjoyed by Avni and Anubhav. But I was not sad this time as I knew that this is what was going to happen. Indian media is the most entertaining thing in India they always focus on good looking achievers not the best achievers. They always focus on Sania Mirza because she is little good looking wears mini skirts while they forget many India athletes such as Maricom who is three times world champion in boxing people even don’t know about her. Same happened here also they saw Avni and made her fighting beauty while Anubhav was their old hero so they enjoyed writing about them even they equated them from some mythological characters like Arjun who fought against injustice. They wrote the newspaper in a way so interesting that we felt as if we are reading a movie script. It was very humorous reading the things which happened in front of you in such a dramatic way.

I also enjoyed my hospital days. As all my relatives came to meet me and each time my father told them the exaggerated story of my bravery. But when I thought about what I achieved doing everything is the pride in the eyes of my father and as I did all the operation myself so I was even able to look into his eye. Watching my father so happy all my pain seemed nothing to me. There is also a theory that unless you get yourself injured your achievements are never considered. Watching papa sitting in proud front of all relatives was nothing less than a national bravery award. As ultimately all the world remains nothing to you only your family matters.

In the hospital mom and dad cared for me as if I was their small rudra even I got a fracture in my leg but my mom always instructed me to talk less eat fruits and other caring activities which were not at all related to my fracture. But I followed all what my mom instructed as I was enjoying somebody caring for me. After getting so much of love from my family my thirst was not satisfied but I also got a girlfriend who visited my hospital everyday around 3 p.m. to make me satisfied. I was just out of the world who says that the patients looks silent and miserable but each one who visited me would have noticed me happy more than usually I used to be.

Today it was 2:30 p.m. but my mom was not ready to go. Usually it was the time when no one use to stay at hospital with me but mom today looked very relaxed.

Rudra: Why don’t you go to home and relax. Mom: No I am perfectly okay.

Rudra: Mom you have spent the whole night with me and mostly you were not sleeping. I just

got a minute fracture in leg nothing else. Mom: But I am okay here.

(I thought that its probably last day of my hospital tomorrow morning I would be discharged so it was my last day to spend time with Avni so I have to do something).

Rudra: Mom I am going to sleep right now why don’t you also have a sleep at home it will recharge you for tonite.

Mom: Okay you I will sleep here only why to go to home.

( My argument was not working so there was no option but to call my maternal uncle who cares about my mom much more than me also he will make her agree to have rest at home).

So I called my uncle and told him that how mom is behaving childish and not going to home to take rest. Sometimes you cannot win argument with your mom and dad so you should have a person who can win over them. After arguments with uncle, at last my mom agreed and she left but before going she gave me a threatening instruction to sleep without spending time on cell phone.

After some time Avni came to hospital she was looking damn sexy with her glasses on. I noticed that half of the hospital staff stared at her everyday and one ward boy came to my room to ask about my health each time she visited. She entered my room gave me a broad 5000 watt smile and said “How are you inspector?” she touched my forehead so that she could sense weather I had fever or not. After due verification of my health she sat besides me and put her hand on my stomach. I read in one book titled “Definitive book on body languages” that when somebody puts hand like this it is the symbol of sympathy but actually I was wearing very short shirt of hospital so some part of my stomach was naked she put her hand there only it was difficult for me to conclude her act into a deliberate or an accidental one. As I read in the book that when girls touches your neck or stomach or upper thighs that means she is feeling like having sex with you. I got scared as my feet was still paining and any exertion to my leg would cause serious fracture and I didn’t think that my leg would not be required during such process. To give her a signal I made miserable face as if I am seriously ill and took her hand in both my hand.

Avni: So when are you getting discharged. Rudra: Might be tomorrow.

Avni: So tomorrow I will visit your home tell me the address.

(Actually my mom never liked Avni even I didn’t want their shining faces to show me anger and disgust).

Rudra; I am okay baby you need not come to home concentrate on your work. I will be okay by the next weak.

(Even if I tried to hide my intensions but she got that I didn’t want her to visit my home). Avni: Okay you don’t want to see me.

After finishing the sentence she took off her hand from mine. I hate this part of love life consoling, apologizing and pleading infront of your partner. So to save myself from all those things the only remedy was lie.

Rudra: No sweetheart it is not like that I said so, because I didn’t wanted to bother you. Avni: (After having a high dose of emotional answer) Okay.

She agreed to my hopeless arguments girls are really emotional fool. They doubt on you for your every act but if you make good excuse they would also quickly agree upon your excuse.

She again gave her hand in my hands, so to show her compassion I kissed on her hand.

As I kissed her hand her eyes stuck with my eyes. She continuously watched me with emotions. She leaned upon me, brought her lips closer to mine and just kissed me. She did this so suddenly that I was shocked. While smooching she got bit imbalanced so she put her hand on my chest to balance herself. It was bit painful for me but to get a kiss any man could bear a little pain. It was almost a minute but she was not in the mood to get off my lips while she started putting her weight on me. I was enjoying the moment while I also felt it very risky as most of the hospital staff knew that we were alone in the room and if any relative comes then my character would be maligned. When it was getting very much intense I gave her a small push so that she would leave me. As I pushed her she left me but she looked at me with anger, I noticed anguish in her eyes. She suddenly stood up didn’t say a single word to me and left the room. It was also shocking for me as I didn’t want to hurt her but I did that just to make her aware that it’s not the correct time to do such things. Even a thought grew in my mind that do really girls get hurt for stopping them from doing sex. I always belonged to all boys group where I saw many sex maniac boys watching porne, going with a girl for sex but I could never judge a girls mentality. Even I saw many boys dumping their girlfriend just because she is conservative but it was a new experience for me to see a girl getting angry just because I stopped her from kissing me. After thinking for a while a thought that girls do also have their emotion regarding sex so they also feel that somebody should do those things with them. So I came to the conclusion that what I did was not the proper way I should have handled the situation properly. I actually needed to develop a soft attitude towards girls perhaps the usual rough attitude wasn’t good enough.

So next day I was discharged from the hospital even though I spent only few days out of home but still I was home sick. It was a grand welcome at my home as my neighbor watched me stepping out of the car borrowed from one of one relative because uptill now my parents had told them stories about my bravery several times. It was a heroic treatment to me. Watching such things I got why people join forces not for money but a status, a respect that world shows towards you is the whole sole consideration for your life and its worth. After spending few days at home I got a call from Commissioner he was so sure that whatever was done was actually done by me. He also scolded me for shooting javed as he felt that he was only a small fish These chiefs even though they don’t do anything but still they are aware about the situations in the department therefore they are chief. He consoled me for not getting proper treatment after operation but this time I lied saying everything was done by Anubhav and Avni I just supported them but as people say you cant lie to your parents. Commissioner understood that I was lying and I am happy with what I did. He told me that he has a surprise for me but I had no time to think about the surprise. I spent my rest of the days with moms care and girlfriends sentimental lovable messages on phone. Even I spent my late nights chating with through sms. It’s the best part of the love you get someone who interestingly hears all your daily routine of the day and you dump all your tension to him or her. I shared all my childhood memories, my habits, my likings, my disliking everything with her likewise I interestingly heard about her.

After spending few days at home and after few trial walking session to assure my mom that I was perfectly okay I rejoined my duty. Avni was promoted and was given a charge of a police station changing her department from intelligence. She told me that she was enjoying it as it require paper work and not field work. It was a very routine job with fixed timing. I thought it was good for the girl. To join duty again and to know my area of duty I had to visit commissioner office. Commissioner left a message their that if I come then ask me to visit him. I knocked the door commissioner signaled me to come in and he was busy on the phone. When I sat in front of him I concentrated on his conversation on phone. After hearing few more minutes I got that commissioner is advising her daughter not to drink much. Also he scolded her for the last night where she came back home at morning 3 O’clock. Also he was unhappy with his male friends and her dressing. When I felt that it’s the useless talk I avoided listening the conversation suddenly I noticed an envelope on the table written top secret. When I tried to read further I saw a mark of RAW leading intelligence agency of India. I wanted to know further but it was a crime to read a top secret report so gain I concentrated on the conversation. Their conversation ended when her daughter willfully disconnected phone of her dad. It was quite insulting but commissioner managed to give me smile. I smiled back to him.

Commissioner: Young boy you did fabulous in that operation.

Rudra: Thank you sir but I supported my senior rest it was their achievement.

Commissioner: I like your humbleness but son I give you a advice never hide your capabilities it will degrade your quality.

Rudra: But sir…

Commissioner: Look I am commissioner I know everything in the department and out of the department but sometimes you cant do anything besides knowing everything. And I know that you are my best officer.

(I thought that even if the commissioner is so busy in solving his domestic problems how does he gets the time to know everything)

He further said that I have a good mission for you.

I raised my eyebrows up in order to show my excitement.

Commissioner opened that top secret envelope in order to tell me the new mission.

He asked me that are you ready for it. Actually I was not at all interested as I wanted to concentrate more on my love life and I wanted to settle but when somebody bestows trust on you its very difficult to run away from such responsibility.

Commissioner: Our city is now a days under a very serious threat. Not from the terrorist but from the internal criminals they are spreading their network of drugs to the youth of the city. We are still not developed city like metros but now the pub and club culture is emerging in our city. Such culture force the youth towards drinking alcohol and also drugs. Now a days every pub has somebody to sell their drugs previously the network was leaded by Javed but after Javedy whose the next. And I do also feel that Javed himself was not the kingpin as this business requires lots of capital invested their must be some rich man behind this everything. I fear that such drugs would spread to the colleges in the city. As you are young and I know you are the best officer I have today with me I want you to investigate on this matter.

Rudra: So I will visit any club today and arrest the dealer.

Commissioner: I don’t want you to arrest the dealer anybody would have done that for me. But I want you to investigate and obtain proof against the man who is operating. Arresting dealer will not damage their network I want the network to be uprooted.

Rudra: So any time constraint for it sir.

Commissioner: Look this is very sensitive case there is no official time limit but you know that as the time will elapse the network will grow more. You will work alone as I don’t have faith on anybody.

Rudra: Sir I will surely take this case but I have some demands. ( I thought it’s the perfect time to ask for promotion). Sir I want a promotion.

Commissioner: Promotion! Rather I am suspending you from immediate effect.

Rudra: I thought that I made a very unreasonable demand. Listening to this my heart beat raised as I feared of losing my job. I pleaded Sir…

Commissioner: (Interrupting my plea) first listen what I am saying. You will work on this case as an undercover while during Javed encounter your name flashed on televisions and newspaper so you will be recognized as police officer so if you have to get proper space for working you have to get suspended and such news should be flashed on television.

Rudra: But sir what my parents will feel they are proud of me they are telling the story of my bravery to everybody but when you will suspend me their heart will be shattered.

Commissioner: Look Rudra it’s the part of our life. My parents when I was young even didn’t knew that I was in police. They felt that I was a hoodlum and earned money from gambling. Even I got married very late as I was busy investigating and nobody would allow their daughter to marry an idler. I worked as an undercover agent for 15 years. Somebody has to sacrifice so that the society gets the benefit. It’s a noble cause you should feel proud about yourself.

(All the bosses have the same technique of getting the work done from their employee. Firstly to generate the curiosity of work and if you are not impressed by it they would tell their own glorious past so that in the greed to became like them you would work hard).

Even I was happy with the work as its what I really want. Rudra: Okay sir I will work.

Commissioner: SO you are getting promoted from today itself but you should not disclose it to anybody. You are inspector from now. You salary will be increased and you will be getting funds from Raw which you need not to maintain any account of expenditure for it. This is your first installment he offered me some bundle of notes. I will be keeping contact with you through my personal cell phone and I will meet you when mission requires us to meet untill you need not report any development to any officer. And my personal request is to buy a gun as you will require it.

Rudra: But sir I have Gun.

He smiled mischievously. I got that I need to submit the service revolver as I would be suspended. I took out my service revolver and offered it to Commissioner but he smiled and said procedure is to be followed. He gave me two envelopes one was that top secret written envelope while other was my suspension letter. I took the top secret envelope and put the money bundle and that envelope inside my pocket. As I finished the adjustment Commissioner loudly shouted. Commissioner: You get lost what do you think that if the department has given you the pistol then you will shoot anybody. What do you think of yourself? Just wanted to became hero in media?

He was shouting on me so that my suspension should look real while I also made face as if he has suspended me.

Commissioner: you get lost. I don’t want to see your face again in front of me.

I opened the door so that some voice should go outside. I took my suspension letter and submitted my revolver at the counter. The constable at the counter asked me Sir you did such a wonderful job then why Commissioner suspended you.? I was aware that it is the place from where the news will go outside and to the whole department. I told him that I was suspended because I shot javed down also I added that when somebody works hard after putting his life in danger he gets suspended while the one who just takes bribe and doesn’t do anything always gets promotions. I made a miserable face so that I should look disappointed also I added some anger in my expression to make it real.

So after all I got the promotion and everything what I aspired but I got everything with a condition so I don’t know why the feeling of suspension grew inside me. I went home with a disappointed face and suspension letter. I decided to tell them before it flashes in newspaper. I was also aware that tomorrow news writers would make me maniac and trigger happy cop also they would make me the human right violator. So I went towards my mom and told her that I was suspended she was shocked I told her that in order to save my life I had to shoot him. When it comes to my life my parents would support my suspension. My mom gave me consolation for losing job even dad reminded mom that he told me not to join police force. When mom and dad were discussing about my suspension I went inside my room to hide the hard cash and secret letters. When I came outside my mom told me that don’t you worry we don’t require you to do the risky duty again. We want you to take safe duty even if the earning will be less but we want you not money. I nodded to give my assent but it was lie even I was heading towards more risky duty than the previous one. The plan was not fixed, the person whom I am going to mess with were not known I was heading towards unknown streets. To console mom I told her that today we will get our paying guest.

Before heading to plan something I thought arranging the accommodation for Madhu is my prime responsibility. During my hospitalization also I regularly got messages from her. Even though she was not able to meet me but everyday we talked to each other. Firstly I thought I should change her sim card as the previous sim card and phone no. always reminded me of my bad experience of brothel and that fat lady. Also I decided to take her to my home so that Avni would not find any difficulty with her and no cat fights between my girlfriend and my very good friend. I went to Avnis home after so many days I rang the bell. Madhu opened the door it was after so many days that I was watching her I touched her chubby cheeks to show my affection towards her she also responded by giving a very bright smile. I asked about Avni.

Madhu: Avni is not here you might be disappointed. Rudra: Why should I? I came here to meet you.

Madhu: Ooo then why were you asking about her as you entered in.

Rudra: Just formality one should ask about the owner of the house before entering into it. Madhu: So inspector how are you? I heard that while running after the thief you lost your knees. Rudra: Yaah we were playing chor-police and due to my old age my knees got ill.

(While talking to Madhu I always felt a warmth between us while I never felt such warmth talking to Avni. Yes I felt the warmth only when she kisses me. I always feel myself to be the small child while talking to Madhu)

Rudra: Come on pack your bags today you will be shifted to a new place. Madhu: May I ask the reason for it.

Rudra: Yes its for security purpose you are quite precious for me so I am keeping you safe. Madhu: Okay inspector your wish is my command.

(Madhu always use to call me inspector but today I got promotion but still I couldn’t tell her even that this inspector is now really an inspector)

I got a call from Avni “where are you..?” Rudra: I am siting in your home.

Avni: What are you doing there. (Her voice expressing jealousy)

Rudra: Nothing I came here to take Madhu my home as we require a paying guest. Avni: And what about the news that you are suspended.

(For a second I thought to tell her the truth but women can’t digest secret)

Rudra: True Commissioner suspended me for shooting Javed he thought that he was having some information.

Avni: What more did he told you?

Rudra: Nothing special don’t worry your promotion will not be revoked. (I thought she is asking it in that sense)

Avni: Then see you in the evening after I finish off my office.

I gave the new sim card to Madhu and told her that I will be paying you every month so that you can give rent to my mom with the same I will pay you something so that you can buy your necessity. Your food will be provided from our home and you will get love of my family for free of cost. My mom always loved girls as I was the only boy my mom had due to that soft corner for girls she might find a daughter for herself while she had a hard corner for my female friends which was Avni she might be finding her daughter in law feeling in those girls. After giving lots of advice also telling her the tips to handle my mom I said lets go. She stood silently in front of me and said why are you doing so much for me..? I replied “no bollywood dialogue infront of me”.

I took her to my home and made her to stand in front of my mom. The first question my mom asked her was whose sister are you..? Madhu was prepared for the answer she told her that she was the cousin sister of Anup and she told her that my brother also lives here alone he wants me to live with a family instead of hostel so that I could learn more culture from your family and he told me that Rudra bahiyas family is best for me. It was the first time when she called me bhaiya. After hearing bhaiya my mom gave smile and she thought that this girl would be the perfect one to be kept as paying guest. And then womanhood of both emerged and both started talking and they kept on and on and on. I got bored so I left the house to meet Avni. Even I was happy as my mom got a daughter and Madhu got her family. Whenever I do something good for others a different smile surrounds me and my life automatically becomes happy. Like when I donate blood for two days I feel so happy that I had done something for the society.

Again I went to the Avni’s place where she was sitting in pajamas and was reading something. She looked amazing I went inside and gave her a very broad smile. She didn’t respond to my smile I thought that she is still upset with my push. She asked me “So you got suspended”. Her tone of the sentence was not to console but she was asking me rudely. That sentence touched my ego but I controlled assuming that it was my mistake that day. I nodded in assent.

Avni: So it proved that you shoot Javed deliberately so you will be removed from police services.

Rudra: I am leaving police my parents and me are both shattered because of suspension it was decided for me that I will do some civil job but not work as a cop from in now.

Avni: Why don’t you talk to commissioner or if possible I use my sources.

Rudra: No more policing now so no need to make anyone happy. But may I know what your sources are.

(I saw that she is not happy with my decision). We argued for half an hour but as usual I won and decided not to join police force again. I told her that I would be giving my resignation very shortly.

I thought that it’s the perfect time to start the new mission. I told her to get ready we will go to some pub. My decision to go to pub would serve my both purposes my first purpose was supervision towards my new mission and the other to make my girlfriend happy after the heated argument. She got ready very quickly she wore a normal jeans and T-shirt but she was looking oozingly sexy. She knew about the pub also it was the first time when I was entering a pub. I spent my early days as a poor boy having no money in my pocket and a very small wish list that never consisted things like dance with a girlfriend in pub. But when fortune was giving me the chance why should I had wasted it.

We went to the pub named “Hot Tracks” as we went inside there were no lights instead the glowing colorful lights and very high music filled the arena. I saw many youngsters having the glass of alcohol in their hand and dancing like fools. I also saw some hot girls with short clothes dancing with their male friends. Some single boys were sitting on the chair of the bar enjoying their drinks. I was totally new to this kind of atmosphere this is what I saw only in movies. Even one day I would stand in this kind of atmosphere was beyond my imagination. After observing everywhere I looked towards Avni. She looked like a party animal even when we were standing at a distance from dance floor but she started moving her body by catching the vibe. She was also looking very hot. She said something in my ear which I was unable to hear then she dragged me the dance floor. I was not a bad dancer but wasn’t good too. I danced only during the marriages where no one minds my dancing but here Avni would see me. I saw here and their I saw some boys dancing and copied their move Avni started dancing as if she was a regular member of the pub. While she was dancing she looked fantastic her moves were great her body was complimenting her each move. It was just an eye treat so I left dancing rather I preferred watching her dance from a distance. I made a move from the dance floor and was standing near bar area. But Avni was unstoppable she continued to show her dancing skills she was joined by a boy who was dancing alone on the floor. Sometimes I didn’t mind their dancing together but Avni was dancing with him as if she knew him. And the boy was also using the chance and he started touching her body. Watching your girlfriend with someone else is just equivalent to 2500 volt current passing trough your body. It was terrible so in order to disturb their dancing I went near Avni and said lets have a drink together. She nodded and came with me. While we were moving towards bar I turned back to give an angry look to that boy he was also watching us move. He might have noticed anguish in my eyes. We went towards bar I asked Avni what will you like to have she answered Screwdriver. It was a kind of shock for me as I hadn’t heard about such a drink in my whole life. The bar tender heard her voice and asked about me I answered I will also have the same. He gave us the drink when I put the glass under my nose I could smell alcohol in it. I never touched alcohol but I was very sharp in detecting the smell of alcohol. Even I had taken the pledge not to touch alcohol in my life but now it was a difficult situation. I took the drink and kept it on the table. While Avni was drinking it quite fast I bent towards Avni to take my mouth near her ears and I said do you know there is alcohol in it. She replied “yeah each screwdriver has alcohol in it”. I was shocked by her reply I never thought of her that she could drink alcohol. I took the glass in my hand and started to think should I drink or should I not. Their was a big argument going inside me regarding the drink while Avni finished her drink and also ordered a vodka for herself. I was just watching her. After having the vodka she started marching towards the dance floor. She even didn’t care about what I was doing. I was sure that she might be talli. I kept my glass away. She again started dancing flamboyantly all the single dancer boys surrounded her. And as usual the 2500 volt current started flowing through my body. I kept on looking at her after 15 minutes of heavy dancing where all boys surrounded her somebody was touching her shoulder somebody held her tight somebodies hand was on her waist all such things were happening infront of me and I could not do anything because it was not the mistake of boys, when the girl was allowing them, what should they think about. She came back towards the bar area where I said “lets go”. She replied why its fun here come with me to the dance floor. She also asked for some drink to the bar tender for which he asked her hard or soft she replied hard. I estimated that it is also some sort of alcoholic drink. She took the glass in her hand and she finished the whole glass in one sip. For me it was all new what I never expected from my would be. I always assumed my girl friend to be sophisticated, silent, shy and cultured somewhat like me but Avni was not of that kind. I always looked for a girlfriend whom I could marry. But Avni was not at all a marriage material she was quite a contrast from what I wanted from my second half. After having the drink she said lets go as per your wish. I thanked god that she didn’t return to the dance floor otherwise this time the current flowing through my body surely would have killed someone. It’s the disadvantage of being a rajput its very difficult to deal your anger even your face starts flashing the breaking news that “Attention please this man is angry”. Avni was quite drunk by then. Even she was finding it difficult to stand straight. I asked bar tender how much? He replied Rs. 600. We just had 4 drinks which costed 10% of my previous salary but I couldn’t help I paid him. After an hour of electric shop it was painful for me to pay for the thing which didn’t please me.

I took Avni to her home she was in such a high spirit that she was not able to handle her self. I opened the lock after taking her purse in my hand. I made her sit on the sofa where she laid down. I had her purse in my hand I saw her cell phone I thought lets see with what name did save my phone number in her phone as I saved her name as Sweetu.. I took her phone in my hand and as I regularly text her I went to her inbox but I saw so many messages from a person whose contact name was saved as SG. I read the messages they were poetic love messages. But then I thought its too much for me to check her messages I should trust her she never asks me any question regarding Madhu not even about anybody else so I should also trust her. I saw my message but my name was stored simply as Rudra so all my excitement drained out. I went towards Avni to shift her to bed she was almost faint. I took her in my hand her beautiful face showing expression of innocence. While sleeping she was looking like a cute baby taking sleep her face expressing innocence as if she had no idea about the cruel world. Once or twice she even looked sexy and weird thought grew in my mind as I had all the chances to do anything as nobody was in the house, a co-operating drunk girl almost faint in my hand only a dumb man can lose such a good chance but I was amongst that dumb. All weird thoughts were ruled out by my culture, ethics and a list of rules that I follow in my life which restricts me these rules were like my decided boundary line which I never dared to cross in my life. I put her on bed she even held my hand tight but I managed to free my hand without disturbing her sleep everything happened was so filmy and romantic that for the moment I forgot what happened in the pub.

I came back home where my mom was waiting for me. My mom angrily asked me “where were you..?” I told her that I was with friends. She asked me “are you going to eat..?” I was starving so I replied “yes”. My mom gave me food and sat besides me telling all information about Madhu. But mom didn’t knew that all that information was fake and was developed by me. She told me that she is doing Chartered Accountancy. I didn’t knew about this. I nodded to the mom and kept on eating. When I finished my dinner I went to my bed. It was the time when I thought about the whole days’ events. It was tiring day with lots of ups and downs but suddenly my mobile msg tone rang.

Madhu: So inspector today I am sitting on your head.

(I realized that the room which was rented was just above my room)

Rudra: You are very light weighted you don’t bother me. Mom told me that you are doing chartered accountancy best of luck for it.

Madhu: You didn’t tell me anything to answer such question so I used my brain. When I am the

Anup’s and he is chartered accountant so its valid for me to do Chartered Accountancy. Rudra: Do you know much about Chartered Accountancy.

Madhu: NO I don’t know but I will ask about it to my brother.

Rudra: Okay I will collect the information about it and let you know about it.

It was late night but still I called Anup to obtain information about Chartered Accountancy because I really wanted to help this girl. To develop a better future for Madhu was now the most preferred goal in my life. Anup told me all the formalities but I was also aware that Madhu had no certificates with her, now what I had to do was to develop duplicate certificates. I also had the information about the person who do such kind of thing as during my college days once I also thought about obtaining good marks in my certificate rather than working hard but I dropped my idea and worked hard.

So next day I obtained all the certificates that were necessary for the admission in chartered accountancy and went back to home. My family was amazed that why I was roaming so much when I had no work. The room rented was on the terrace so to give those certificates I had to go to terrace but it was risky as it was my home I couldn’t directly go to Madhu’s room so I took my kite and thread and told mom that I am going on the terrace to fly my kite. Even my mom commented that is this your age to fly kites but to create a reason for my act I gave mom a sentimental dialogue that I am workless and the only thing I can do is to fly my kite. Watching me sentimental my mom didn’t argue about my act of going on the terrace but to make sure that I keep at distance with Madhu she told me to send Madhu down so that she could have her breakfast. I went inside Madhu’s room she had properly arranged that room it was looking totally new I showed her those certificates and told to go down as mom wanted her to have breakfast. When I was completing my sentence she hugged me tightly and started crying. I asked what happened but she didn’t answer. It was a very awkward situation for me as I had no clue how to stop a girl from crying. While crying she started mumbling so many word which I couldn’t understand but I realized that it were words full of praise for me. She left me and said you are my god. I replied that no human can match the greatness of god, I am favoring you their must be some reason or destiny wanted me to do so. It was quiet philosophical dialogue but it stopped her from crying. She kissed my cheeks and said you have worlds most loving mom she always praises you please always hold her head high. I didn’t understood why she said so but after saying she just ran away.

I had no work so I spent most of the time watching television it was my favorite leisure activity. Even many time mom commented that if somebody would lock you in a dark room with a T.V. you could still survive for years. When I was watching television my msg tone rang I thought it would be Avni she would be apologizing for the last night but the message was from Madhu. Madhu: From where did you get these fake certificates they mention only 50% for me while I am a brilliant student and have earned 90% in my matriculation examination.

(Reading this a smile popped on my face)

Rudra: Atleast it proves that you have passed the examination otherwise you have no proof for your brilliance. And I don’t belive that you got 90%.

Madhu: Hey I can still write a paper and can obtain more than 50% mark. Rudra: Did you gave twelfth standard papers.

Madhu: No I didn’t get a chance to write.

Rudra: Whatever you did in the past is now history now you have to live up with these marks your future will be better if you study hard from today. Visit CA institute and get yourself registered for the next examination.

Madhu: Won’t you come along with me.

Rudra: Look Madhu I cant accompany you everytime from now you have to search your own destination. You can use my bicycle and get the addresses from my mom.

Madhu: Okay I can find my own destination. Rudra: That’s the spirit.

After this conversation I thought that from now my responsibility is over and from now I will only help her financially rather than feeding her every time. Now I had to plan something for the night as last night I was not able to focus on the mission as I was busy taking care of Avni. I thought it was very difficult for me to investigate like that as I didn’t drink they would not be confident about me that I was a druggist they would never approach me for drugs. So I thought that I should enter their through the back door that mean I should get a job their. I took out my resume that I prepared before joining police force and approached a pub for the post of waiter. I thought that it was a good post for me to investigate because waiters were the only one who could roam around freely and keep an eye on the public. I got the job very easily as I was able to speak English and could handle high society client my boss would also had found innocence on my face as I made a sincere face during interview and also got ready as per their terms and condition my duty time was 6pm to 2am.

I also told mom about me joining such service but I told that the post was of a manager. She was not happy with my timing but still she was relaxed after finding me happy. I told Avni by messaging but she didn’t reply so I doubted that was everything alright so I went to her home. I went there for the first time without giving her prior information. I noticed smoke coming out of the door I rang the bell Avni opened the door after taking too much of time. I gave her a smile but she gave me a amazed look as if she was shocked by my presence. I tried to go inside but she was standing in between.

Avni: Rudra you..! what are you doing here. Rudra: I am here to see you.

Avni: But….

Rudra: Lets go inside.

When I went inside I saw many men sitting in the room. They were four and two of them were smoking. They were not of our age they seemed to be between 35-40 with breads and mostaches.

They looked like born criminals. I asked Avni who are they she told me that they are her relatives. I noticed two of them to be smoking.

Avni: Rudra can we meet some other time. I am busy with my relatives. Rudra: Why don’t you introduce me to them.

Avni: Its not the proper time.

I thought that it might not be the right time. Really due to these two days I was also not happy with Avni but it was the first time I was in love so I didn’t wanted to breakup. Really the word breakup was not for me. Whenever I longed for a girlfriend I always thought to marry her I never believed in link ups and break ups. But when I accepted Avni as my girlfriend I also got emotionally linked with her but I was not aware of the fact that she drinks, she dances with so many boys and now a days I started noticing that she was avoiding me. But there was a problem with me that whenever I joined my emotional link with someone it was hard for me to assume that person to be a sham but my police attitude was forcing me to investigate about her. Madhu was the best person from whom I could obtain proper information and also trustworthy information.

That day I had to join my new service so I left thinking about it and went to the pub. They gave me job of serving, they also gave me uniform in which I found myself more handsome than in a police uniform. I started roaming here and there to collect orders. I was not good in serving as I never did any work at home so my hands were shivering while serving anything but still I had to do it. Throughout my serving period I continuously monitored all places but it didn’t work. I didn’t find anything suspicious.

I went home late night it was tiring day for me who never works at home today spent so much time in serving drinks and picking up the empty liquor glasses. Many time I found it ridiculous but then also it was paying me handsomely and for work you had to do anything. Also I had some tension about Avni coz how she was behaving abnormal. Even I started finding her not to be of my type but still I was not able to leave her as I was emotionally and not physically attached with her. How could I tell her that now I didn’t love her as I kissed her or she kissed me whatever the effect was same. This movement was very disturbing it was hard to decide what to do what not to do. So I messaged Madhu she was the only option on whom I could dump my waste thought.

Rudra: I have to talk to you its very much important if you are asleep then do tell me we will talk tomorrow.

(She responded immediately) Madhu: Tell me what it is..? Rudra: You are still awake. Madhu: Yup..

Rudra: May I come to your room. ( I thought that talking face to face would be better as it would let me know the expressions on her face as well )

Madhu: Yes if you want all yours but be sure nobody know this as I don’t want to lose this room and your family.

(My parents were deep in their sleep as nobody awake even when I entered the house using my duplicate keys)

(I climbed the stares with soft feet without making any noise. She opened her room I entered inside and sat on the ground as there was no other option to sit besides a bed. She took her bedsheet wrapped herself properly and sat facing me.)

Rudra: Why are you not sleeping so late..?

Madhu: I was waiting for you to return home safely. Rudra: Oh so you care about me.

Madhu: No I was keeping an eye on you. Rudra: Oh..

Madhu: Actually many times I feel difficult to sleep as I get the nightmares about that brothel. Rudra: Why don’t you feel safe here now you are living in a police officers home.

Madhu: Yaah suspended police officer’s. Rudra: May it be.

Madhu: But why are you here.

Rudra: Actually I want help. I am confused about Avni. And I know that as you have spent so many days with her you would have understood her properly.

Madhu: I am not getting it what actually do you want.

Rudra: Look me and Avni have an affair but now a days I am finding her a little different than the one I loved. Her innocence her attitude all are changing may be because of my suspension or anything else. May there be any reason as I am suspended I actually require more moral support from her but she is backing off. She is not at all giving me time. I observed the change from the day I got suspended. I also found her drinking while I am not going to touch alcohol ever in my life. Means I cant think of her as my wife. While its difficult for me to ditch her as I kissed her once otherwise she would feel that I made a relation with her just for the sake of obtaining physical satisfaction while such kind of things never came to my mind. What should I do?

Madhu: Many times I asked you that is avni your girlfriend but you didn’t answer positively. Rudra: I was hiding it because I was shy but what’s the matter with that at present it is not the important question.

Madhu: No it is important. Rudra; How..?

Madhu: Many times I asked you just to save yourself from getting emotional with her. I know what kind of man you are but she is not the perfect one for you.

Rudra: I am not getting it.

Madhu: While I was at her home I noticed her talking to many male friends even she had three cell phones which she did not disclose to you. Many of her male friends used to visit her home she always told me that they are her relative but I noticed a maniac in their eyes how they look towards women also they tried to harass me but I used to lock my room. They used to sit their during late nights that night when I was chatting with you they where present for support I messaged you but was not able to talk to you about this matter. I didn’t wanted to lose my residence.

Rudra: Why didn’t you told me this earlier. Madhu: I didn’t want to trouble you more. Rudra: Whats the trouble in helping you.

Madhu: Actually after that horrible experience of brothel I was not able to trust any male. I saw a sex maniac in each of them who just wanted one thing.

Rudra: You find that sex maniac in me as well.

Madhu: I had a doubt on you why were you helping me so much. There must be some thing you expects from me also when you said that you will live with us I felt like you are exploiting me for sex. But after I saw your family, your kindness I felt myself to be guilty for wrong suspesion. Rudra: Actually I helped you for my benefit. I have some benefit for helping you that is I will get a very good friend with whom I can share my feelings. You are like my small sister who gives me emotional support when needed. I never named our relation to be sister brother relation because I didn’t want you to lose that friendship flavor in our relationship. You cant discuss everything with your sister while you can discuss everything with your friend.

(Every time I seen her I found a very beautiful girl I analyzed her beauty but never thought anything cheap, she was so beautiful that my eyes stuck on her face but you could also analyze beauty of your mom, your sister, the person who looks beautiful but you never want her to satisfy your those desire that the beauty of your lover satisfy)

Madhu: That’s so cute of you. Rudra: Even you.

(She came towards me with little tear drops in her eye she was having the same beauty as I saw her first time she hugged me tightly and started crying even I got tears in my eyes I held her chubby cheeks in my hand and pulled both her cheeks)

Rudra: Now I can pull your cheeks as elder brother has the authority to irritate his small sister.

Don’t you feel we are diverting from the main discussion of Avni. Madhu: End it don’t go for her. Tell her that she is not the one for you. Rudra: You want me to say it to her.

Madhu: If you don’t have courage message her that its all over now.

(After that we spent an hour gossiping about Avni , she told me that she not only drinks but also smokes and also has many male friends. It feels amazing gossiping with my sister it was the first time I was enjoying the benefit of having a sister as I never enjoyed it as I was the lone child in my family).

Next day I woke up late I saw Madhu helping my mom in kitchen. It was just as my mom got a daughter and I got a younger sister. That day I thought of messaging Avni but I didn’t do that as I wanted Avni to first contact me and then only I would tell her that we have broken up. I spent many days in waiting for her call and investigating in pub but it was not at all working.

I got the call from Avni that she wanted to meet me at her home. I thought it would be better to discuss our break up face to face and also to tell her the reason for doing so. I went to her home I rang the bell Avni opened the gate she gave me a good smile that day but I was not in the mood of doing so. I went inside and sat on the sofa but she didn’t sit their instead she went inside the bedroom. I prepared my self to discuss with her. Avni called from inside Rudra please come in. I thought why is she calling me inside I went to the bedroom cautiously where I saw Avni standing infront of me in her lingerie only. It was quite shocking for me as for the first time I was watching any girl like this. Watching her I forget everything which was running in my mind. She came closer and started kissing me. I found myself helpless stopping her. She put her hand inside my T-shirt where I could feel the movement of her hand on my back. She pulled my T-shirt off and pushed me on the bed. Everything which was happening was never ever visualized by me and I had no idea what to do my mind stopped working. I followed the instructions given by Avni. My mind was not at all working, after two hour when I found myself awake after a nap my mind started working but now my virginity was lost it was not how I have planned for losing it.

Now my mind started telling me the motive of coming here but how could I tell her that I didn’t want her to be with me after I slept an hour with her. I collected my cloths and just left her home without telling her she was sleeping at that time.

I went to a lake side collected some stones and started throwing the stones in the lake. It was the good way of losing stress. I thought that it is the problem that I couldn’t discuss with Madhu also. I lost my virginity with the person whom I was not going to marry. Then if I marry any other girl it would be a cheating with her too. My relation with Avni was not working but how could I tell her that I ditched you. I felt it was my fault I should have controlled my emotion but with the same it was very hard to control eating when your were roaming in a chocolate garden.

I thought I will find out the solution anyways lets just concentrate on the job which is not at all working. Today when I went in the pub I asked my collogue that we only serve alcohol while other pubs they also offer drugs which make their customers permanent our manager is useless don’t even know this. He told me that we also do the same but with few clients only. We obtain our bulk revenue from them only we also provide them girls. I was amazed listening this from so many days I was working their but I didn’t noticed them ever. He told me that they look like regular high profile girl even they charge too much but some rich guys don’t mind spending. They are the medium through whom we supplies them drugs. So I thought after dealing in red light areas now I had to deal with these high profile call girls.

While serving the people I noticed some girls who were looking here and there they might be in search of customers. I went towards them and said “Madam do you want anything?” A girl in that group commented on me, “Do you want anything..?” I was surprised as well as embarrassed it was quite embarrassing moment for me I looked at them they all were laughing at me but when I noticed I saw a girl who just smiled but didn’t laugh. She gave an expression of sympathy towards me I got that this is the right person who could help me. While you are investigating you need to be smart for choosing the person through whom you could get answers of your question. I was continuously monitoring them. I was watching them for my mission while many times my collogue commented on me saying “What is the plan?” All the waiters have their eye on them they see them with their eyes full of lust. While all such things are dead for me atleast for now when I was feeling cheated, confused and also sexually harassed. My problem was now how to procede how to converse with that girl. All the girls were in group so it was very difficult for me to converse with a single one. I left the idea for this night atleast I had to wait for the correct time.

I thought my mission is getting started; I need a gun for it. I bought one for me but it was tough for me to hide money in our home as I had no privacy at my home so I gave money to Madhu saying keep it safe with you whenever I will ask for it then only give me and also you can use it for your admission and education purpose. She asked me many question about the huge amount of money but I didn’t give any reason.

I spent many nights in the searching for an opportunity but I didn’t get it. Like every night I was waiting for the opportunity. I saw a guy speaking with all of them. I thought it might be the customer but I saw the girls giving him money it was quite different. One who was head of that group opened the purse and gave a big bundle of currency. I understood that this might be the pimp but as per instruction I need not to arrest the pimps instead I have to find the chain. That man was sitting in the bar and enjoying the drink when I saw one more girl came towards him and he passed on the bundle towards her. It was some sort of dealing which was happening over here. I tried to see the face of girl but I was not able to see. It was my failure if I would have seen her face that would be a victory in my mission. I got disappointed with myself as I spent a month doing nothing for the mission it was a betrayal towards my job.

My days were not at all favoring me. I went to washroom in the pub saw myself in the mirror. I started thinking what is happening to me am I getting changed where was, that Rudra who was winner, who never cares about his failure, whose emotions were always hidden, who never cried, who never endorsed his pain, who never feel love, who was very practical. Suddenly I started feeling that the episode with Avni had changed my life. I started thinking emotionally most of the time I spent in thinking about these things I started losing confidence from myself. I started feeling myself to be guilty of those things which I never did deliberately and now I fear facing that. I thought now a days I started feeling like a coward. Now I have to back myself I have to become Rudrasingh Thakur again the same harsh, practical, efficient non emotional one. My inner emotions had snatched my efficiency from myself I had to regain that. It was just like rediscovering myself. When you lose your self that means you start living others life imitating them you should find yourself in you.

Bhool baitha tha mein apne aap ko, Na dikhti thi muze haqiqat…

Ek unsunjhe jaal may phasta raha, Khoti ja rahi thi meri himmat…

Zindagi may haarna humne kabhi na sikha, Jitte chale gaye is jahaan ko,

Par ek gum ki barish may,

Mein khota chala gaya apne aapko..

Kya jo bhul raha tha shayad,

Jitne ki himmat aur sochne ki shakti, Khud ko dhund lauga kyuki,

Jaan se bhi pyaari hai hume apni hasti…

Dhund lege khud ko is jahaan may, Goom na hone dege hasti apni..

Toofaan toh aajayege zindagi may bahot, Par dubne na dege hum kashti apni..

The best thing I learnt being rajput was winning whenever you cried in childhood your mom always said you are a son of rajput so don’t cry. Whenever you felt frightened in your life your mom told that you are born as a rajput so don’t fear. From childhood the leadership quality was being tought to me which included never to quit not only in the physical game but also in the mental game. My mind was so programmed that whenever I lost I tried harder so that I could obtain my supremacy. As supremacy is the only achievement a rajput deserves. All such lessons of childhood started teaching me that you are not the failure just you need to do your things in a better way what was needed was the dedicated efforts and the mission would be yours.

I made the action plan, I had to first end the episode of Avni. I decided to take leave from pub right then and first settle all the matters with Avni. I couldn’t spend time thinking about Avni she was not what I wanted and I couldn’t spend my life blaming me. Now the real rajput woke inside me. I directly went to Avni’s home. I knocked the door even when there was the door bell. Avni opened the door I saw her frightened face.

Avni: Rudra… you…. here… Rudra: I want to talk to you. Avni: Rigth now.

(After she completed the sentence I looked towards her dress she was wearing minimum cloths possible with a towel wrapped around her covering important parts)

Rudra: Its urgent.. Go get changed I am waiting for you.

( I saw my watch it was 9 o’clock it was not the time to take bath in chili winter time. I went inside even she was not in the mood of allowing me coming in but then also I went inside forcefully. The hall was little bit unorganized I saw a black bag on the table but I ignored everything as my main focus was to discuss and sort out all the matters. It was 15 minutes since she went inside so I decided to go inside why to wait so long just finishing it as early as possible was my aim. As I entered the room I saw a man lying on the bed while Avni standing infront of him now dressed up.)

Rudra: May I know who is this.

Avni: Meet Inspector Shubham, he is senior inspector posted to the same station where I am.

(The man was shirtless lying on the bed, he smiled at me as if I will bow to him for his post. I looked towards Avni my eyes spitting fire my hands feeling the power. I signaled her to meet me outside. We both went out )

Rudra: Is this your official routine to please your seniors. Avni: hmm…

(She had no answer so she was looking towards me without giving expression).

Rudra: I think you did it to me as well I am ashamed that I literally cared a damn about you. It’s my prime mistake.

Avni; You were also not a child, you also were enjoying everything.

Rudra: May I ask you one thing please tell me what is better in him that I never did for you. Avni: Sex..

(Her answer solved all my questions. I didn’t argue with her more now there was nothing more that I could argue upon she used me just physically and also officially to raise her post so it was better to march back to the home. Her answer taught me many things. I realized the pain of the girl who was raped I was also feeling the same pain. It was very hard to understand girls but I never thought of such kind of girl. I spent my college days in observing the girls but I never thought of such kind of girl.)

I was feeling as if India had lost a cricket match to Pakistan or somebody had stolen my bike. It was the height of my pain uptill and now I was feeling the pain of love they were more or less same you want to cry but your eyes don’t support you. But still I was happy that the guilt I was feeling was now transformed into the anger for her. I didn’t know why her beautiful face was flashing every now and then added more pain to me.

From next day I started my dedicated efforts. I was aware that all the supply of drugs originated from slums while the money was invested from higher class so my mission was to find the nexus between them. I started working day and night so I started taking waiters assignment for special parties of the higher class. I found the people drink but still the people buying drugs were out of my reach. Even due to excessive work I started getting health problem but the best way to keep away from mental trauma was to be busy, work harder so that you could not get a single moment to think about it. After working in this routine for a month I started forgetting about all that events which happened in my life. Even I talked very less with Madhu because she always asked me why are I was looking so stressed which I didn’t want to answer. Your best people could always guess what you were feeling from inside looking at your face. Even my mom asked me so many times that why was I behaving so self centered but I never answered her she guessed that it was because of joblessness. Many times she consoled me saying police live the life of a dog its good that you left all that. But I was still a police that means I was still the same dog.

Today Madhu called me and said she require my help in getting herself admitted in the college. First of all, I denied as I wanted her to find her own way in life but when she told me that its very urgent then I got ready. I took her to the college on my bike even my mom didn’t have any problem as she was now convinced that she was my sister and nothing else. I went to the same college were I spent my college days. I didn’t know how she chose the same college might be because she wanted the college near our home so that she could go there by bicycle. Whenever you go to your own college you feel yourself to be of same age as you were while leaving the college. So as I entered I took a glance around and saw many boys and girls sitting in groups enjoying their days. My inner talent of monitoring started while Madhu was standing in the queue I was looking here and there it was a fun for me these years has changed nothing the same my kind of hoodlum boys sitting beside the road and monitoring girls. Some boys coming and talking to them to retrieve information from them about their crush. I told Madhu that let me just visit the staff room I want to see if my professors were still there she gave me permission but she told me to make it quick as she wanted guardians signature. It was nice feeling to become someone’s guardian. I was climbing the stares to visit staff room on the corner of the stare where no one was there I saw some boys sitting and smoking. It was normal for my college also I saw the love birds sitting in the corner and enjoying. When I went towards staff room I found that it has changed into library I asked the librarian he told me that staff room is now shifted downstairs. So disappointingly I started making my way downstairs but suddenly a man dashed to my shoulder. I watched his face he was one of the men whom I saw in Avni’s home when she told me that he was his relative. I saw him he went to that the group of smoking boys where he gave him some sort of packet. I thought it could be drugs.

I went downstairs and went to staff room. Where I saw professor Hora, I was not the best student of that professor’s subject so that they could remember me but I don’t know how he recognized me and said “Thakur you….” “Yes sir” I replied. HE further said, “How are you, and how are you visiting college, I saw your name in the newspaper, so you became cop” I didn’t want him to know that I was a suspended police officer so I nodded in assent. He praised me for the work I did uptill. I told him that the college is changed a little bit I went above to search staff room. He told me that it is now shifted and now students enjoy there it is now converted into the worst portion of the college. I asked professor that students smoke in the college and nobody restricts them from doing so why doesn’t the college do something about it my younger sister is taking admission in the college I am concerned about her safety. He assured me that girls are safe here even college tries every now and then to restrict students but the student don’t listen even they behave like gangster with us when we lecturers act against them He was watching me as a ray of hope as he believed I was a cop. I assured him that I will do something.

When I thought deeply about the matter I felt there is something wrong with Avni. All bad links some or the other way joining with her. I felt that I must follow her it is the only way I could do something in this case as despite many efforts taken I was not able to find anything. So bunked my duty today for which manager threatened me that he would deduct it from salary but who cares for the salary. Even I earned handsome money during my undercover waiter’s performance. I saw Avni came from police station on time now I was waiting for some unusual thing to happen. I saw a man coming there in a car I recognized that he is that inspector Shubham. They both sat in the car I followed them they went to the “Hot Tracks” pub. I thought that should I go inside or should I not. It was still painful for me to see them together. But work was my prime responsibility. So I went inside I went to that bar and asked for orange juice so that if at all they see me my presence should look normal. I drank half glass in hurry to make the prop more realistic. I was continuously watching them. They were dancing like a couple and even they kissed each other while dancing everything was happening infront of me many times I felt as I should shoot both of them but it was illegal and I was the savior of law. I saw them both happy and my half liter blood boiled and evaporated due to excessive heat produced. But some how I managed to keep myself cool. Then I saw that a man came to both of them and delivered a bundle of money. Same kind of event happened also in my pub many times. It was something I really needed to look upon. I left couples to enjoy there night and I followed the guy who delivered the bundle to them. I followed him until he reached a lavish bungalow. It was the bungalow of some MLA. I had a doubt that these kinds of things can never be operated without political connection so it was the political connection. Now the picture started to clear. The funds came from the MLA, people donot deliver it directly to the client they use the chain of high profile prostitutes who help their rich clients to enjoy the drugs. They also deliver bundle of money to police officer according to the area in which they are working. Now the question was the source of drugs from where the chain emerges. And it were the slum.

I decided to keep an eye on the people working for the MLA. After some days of observation I noticed that they regularly go to that red light area. Firstly I thought that they might be going there to satisfy their sexual desire but then I thought that their must be more than that. So I went to my old informer Bhola he was the one who could tell me something about the case.

Bhola: Sir you, here. Rudra: Yes..

Bhola: Sir I listened that you have been suspended that’s true. Rudra: How do you know about it.

Bhola: Sir this kind of gossip spread life fire in the forest. Rudra: So after javed who is operating now.

Bhola: Sir his name is Sk very dangerous South Indian. He roams around having a big knife that

is used for chopping coconut.

Rudra: Strange never heard about him.

Bhola: He is very dangerous sir, when the fight of dominance started after the death of Javed he has cut his competitors into pieces many people ran away due to his fear. Now it is his monopoly. Once he has also killed a police inspector in middle of the square so now a days police also donot come here.

Rudra: Any other information.

Bhola: Nothing sir he has some special men who do his job so the information doesn’t come outside. But a truck always come here loaded with some sacks and the truck might be of Rajasthan as the number starts from RJ.

(I offered Bhola a 500 rupee note but he denied to take it as he had sympathy towards me for my suspension. Also he warned me to get away as now all people recognize me.)

I went to the near by square and saw the road it was a very narrow road with lots of traffic. If the vehicle like truck had to come here they have to drive very carefully and slowly so I thought that it would be very easy to cease them. But I thought that last time also we caught a truck but the effect was nothing even the main operator of the drug chain was also killed but they didn’t stop if I catch a truck they will get aware that I am working they may also kill me as last time also I was the one who made them suffer loss of crores by catching the truck. When I was inspecting the area and was deciding the plan of action I saw a truck coming towards me. I saw the number plate the truck was from Rajasthan. I got that this might be the truck I was in search of. I noticed that I had brought the gun with me. Then I thought that should I do it today itself or should I wait, the sensible police officer in me was in favor of waiting but the hero in me was forcing me to do something as I spent too much time in the investigation and I was aware that I had wasted in solving my personal problems. So I decided that I will not wait any more and also will not arrest but I would follow the truck to investigate better. But most of the people were aware of me even though they knew that I had been suspended but if they would get a slight hint that I am following them they would certainly kill me. I was still in the dilemma what to do up next.

Truck came towards me with high speed but suddenly it slowed down due to heavy traffic I saw two good looking gentlemen driving the truck. They seemed to be educated fellow with nice dressing they do not look like usual driver and cleaner of any truck. Truck passed by me but due to traffic it stopped, the back portion of the truck was open so I tried to see the carriage but it was not visible. I didn’t know what I thought but I climbed into the truck. It was dark there with lots of jute bags. Even I was unable to distinguish between drugs as I had no information about it. I was just aware that white powder is drugs while some grass like looking packed product is charas. I opened a bag I saw white powder I got that my information is right but where were they taking this truck. I looked out but I didn’t get the road where we are moving. I messaged Commissioner to be ready with your action team to raid the place I will tell you the location later on.

Truck went into a warehouse which was situated away from the city. I looked at my mobile phone there was no network so could not I even call anybody. My hands started to shiver as I was alone and I was not aware of the number of men I had to face. Truck stopped I thought that the driver will certainly check the luggage but they didn’t. They both called somebody and said work accomplished. Listening that first thing came in my mind was how there mobile is working I need to change my mobile company. They both went out and they closed the door. After 15 minutes of waiting I jumped out of the truck. I looked here and there it was very damp place where generally food grains are stored. Even I could smell the bad odor of the rotten grains. They even closed the door so now I could move from there. I sat near the door waiting for the correct time to come also I was waiting for my mobile to catch network. It was very difficult to spend time alone smelling rotten grains but I had no other option. I heard something from out of the gate. Few men were talking to each other that the police are earning more than gangsters. One of them said I feel like shooting them all it frightened me. He said we put our life into risk then also the police get more money for each sale per quantity. Our boss is now a days totally relying on them look like they are coming to see that the quantity we brought is correct or not. Even we are working with the boss from years but now a day boss is behaving abnormally. The other man said boss is in love with that lady police she has hypnotized boss. Boss is now a days relying totally on her even she is a sub inspector in police but now she is operating everything. Boss has the given her the supreme authority to work as she wishes. She is now the new queen of underworld so never mess with her, boss would kill even us for her. She is so short tempered that she shoots anybody anytime police cannot act against her. She suspended that officer Thakur, who killed Javed bhai. That officer was little over smart but she brought the force from ministry for his suspension. She is very powerful as well as beautiful but never try to look at her face she is dangerous.

I started thinking who is she, she was of our department. To control underworld the lady should be matured enough but in this area I really don’t know about any lady who is working as a police all others are new and how can a new one establish nexus with smugglers, gangsters and underworld. So it was exciting also for me to know her but with the same I feared that even she does not leave the men of her gang then how can she leave me. I started finding the place where I could hide. I found that I could hide behind the grain bags but the smell was so irritating that no one can stand there for a minute it was like a boon to me. I heard some sound of the opening gate so I covered myself with thoes bags my senses of smelling almost died but I kept my eye open so that I could see what was going on.

I saw few men coming inside also there was a very delicate girl with them. I assumed that a fat lady would come like the queen of underworld like the lady I saw in that brothel. When I concentrated more I noticed that I had seen one of those men at Avni’s home. When I saw the girl I noticed that the girl is Avni. I was literally shocked it was a fact that my brain was not accepting even if I was seeing it with my own eye. How could my junior progress to become the queen of underworld. Then picture started to clear in my mind these are the people who run everything. Avni is the boss the funding was done by that MLA and Avni through her routes in police bribed the officers so that they could bring the drugs in city. Trough the pubs and prostitute they supplied it to rich class who paid anything for getting it. She also used me to get information and then suspended me so that I could never know about her. She played with my emotions. Now the only question left was who is the boss but I was aware that without SK it is not possible for these people to survive as my sources stated that currently he was running the crime in the city and without such powerful man they can do nothing. I never saw SK so now I have to deal with him. Now all the routes of bloody drug business were clear to me so the raid was the only procedure left. But the big problem was how to give information to the commissioner and how to escape. Heat in my body started growing each time I saw Avni my gun was itself being pointed towards her. But I was waiting for the appropriate time.

Suddenly they all turned I saw a tall, fat, ugly looking man wearing lungi and lots of gold chain. He was exposing his hairy legs below the knees and he was dark black in colors. Anybody would guessed that he is SK his dark red eye, oily curly hairs, walk like a tiger and he had a terrifying look. I saw such men in south Indian films just the need was a big knife but he was walking with free hand but I noticed a pistol attached to the lungi. There was only one exit so it was not so simple for me to escape. There were total 6 members I had confidence of last encounter I can very well take care of these much amount of people but if at all there are more waiting outside then I would surely die today. All the six were standing and discussing on some matter.

After few minutes two more men came and brought some chairs and a bed. The bed was hand made on which SK sat as a king while other took the chair. Avni sat on the lap of the SK. Then the same two men brought a guy with his eyes covered and hands tied with the rope. They opened there eyes I saw his face he was Inspector Shubham. I was unable to understand the issue I saw him on the bed with Avni and now he was standing there is he is in their group or not. I was continuously watching them they were discussing something other men held her and they threw him in the truck but he was alive. Then all the men left the warehouse only Avni and SK left. Avni went near SK they kissed each other very hard, for me it was like America has dropped a bomb on me. Watching your ex-girlfriend or the girl you dreamt about with other man is no problem but for an ugly fellow she left me. It was unbearable I predicted that they will do something more here which I couldn’t see with my eyes. I thought that it is also an opportunity for me may be I could escape without disturbing them as they will be busy in completing the procedures.

I started moving slowly towards the gate with small footsteps. Suddenly SK left kissing and went towards truck he pulled Shubham down now I was to hear the screams of Shubham. He pulled him near Avni and shouted loudly he has touched you I cant leave him alive. Who will tell SK that her girlfriend is itself doing everything no one is touching her she herself does everything. But his scream was so loud that even the people standing outside could listen to it. I had pity on Shubham as now I could sympathies with him as it is the same what happened with me as well but I escaped from SK. Then SK shouted I will shoot everybody who touches you. His statement touched my heart and I found my self emotional towards shubham. So my new query was to save shubham and die with him because wouldn’t let us escape from there alive or run away leaving him behind. Sk put his pistol on the forehead of Shubham and I took out my pistol and shooted SK without thinking anything as saving others life is more important that running away like a coward. It is the problem I face being rajput you always felt yourself to be the hero or savior for other and you do such a foolish act for saving others without thinking about our own life. Then I saw the expression on the face of Avni she was watching SK fall and die until his body remained motionless she stared at him while shubham was looking at me as if some miracle had happened for saving his life. After Avni felt that she was trapped and somebody is aiming his pistol towards her she saw me. But this time I couldn’t see any innocence in her eye I was able to see the fear, shock and the most loved one is a small drop of tear. I moved towards her with my pistol but she was so shocked that she didn’t moved from her place I kept my fingers on my lips
as a indication for her not to make any sound and the foolish followed my instructions rather than calling for help. I went towards her speedily pointed my pistol and asked her to open the ropes which tied Shubham. Even at the authoritative situation I requested her, that shows how humble I am! When Shubham was opened he hugged me tightly. It showed me that how much people fear dieing why I put my life in danger always without caring for it. Avni also had a chance to run away but she didn’t do that she was so shocked that she didn’t even move from her place. I ordered shubham to tie Avni he took the revenge and tied her very tightly even she screamed in a low voice while he was tying her. After he completed tying he put his hand on the waist of avni I was watching him that what this fellow is doing in this kind of critical situation but he took away the pistol from Avni and he asked me how we could escape. I asked him how many people were there. He told me that 8 to 10 people. It was also not a big number for me. I asked shubham that do you know how to drive a truck he nodded in assent. I began to think about the plan. I also put my hand in the pocket of Avni to take her cell phone I called Commissioner and told him our position. He assured that they will reach there by 15 minute now I have to wait 15 minutes hoping no one came inside or drive the truck towards city so that we could save our life. I choose to drive towards city as waiting was not my habit.

I ordered Shubham to sit in the truck. He sat on the driver’s position but then I got that we don’t have keys. It was my foolish idea which didn’t work. In bollywood movies there is always a key to a static vehicle but it was not in our case. So we chose to wait. I told shubham to release Avni as she was very co-operative. All three of us were standing and looking at each other. We didn’t have any words to say to each other. But Avni started melodrama with apple sized drops of tear started falling from her eyes. She started demanding mercy. She said don’t spoil my carrier you can save my life from spoiling I did this all due to my own reasons. I was alone and greedy, Greed made me do these things but I loved you Rudra from bottom of my heart. I told her to stop this thing but she didn’t stop. She told me that I was in love with you from my first sight I was in love with you from the college days. I was shocked which college days. She told me that she was the one who asked for the notes just to communicate with you. That really made me shocked I loved that girl too from bottom of my heart it was like double ditching to me. I realized that I didn’t recognized her because even when I followed her in college for a long period of time but I was never able to stare her properly my inner gentleman always stopped me to stare even due to shyness I never looked at her from close. I felt love for her but never cared about her face never dared going close to her just watching her from the distance was my funda of love. I wanted to ask her that where were you after then but I didn’t wanted to talk to her as now I didn’t wanted to get into the emotional trap. She said she was alone since childhood since then she joined the crime because of financial problems. She said that when my father died I had no one to care for me and I had only two option going for the crime or prostitution and I joined crime, it was not my choice to join but situation forced me to do all those things that a teenage girl could even never think of. Her story was really sad and I started feeling sad for her but I didn’t show it to her. Even I moved away so that her words didn’t fall on my ear but shubham was engaged in listening her sad story as if he had to write a biography for her.

While I was moving here and there I heard a shoot of bullet I saw towards them. Avni was holding a pistol while Shubham was lying on the ground dead. Also heard about the men running towards us. I got that Avni was a mystery you could never solve. I ran to take cover for my body and take position I had only 6 bullets while they were 8-10. I started paying that commissioner should come, he was the only one who could save my life today. Avni was starring at me, she gave me a wicked smile and shot a bullet towards me which went past my body very close but luckily didn’t touched me. I ran to save my life while I was running the men came in. Only four of them came inside while other waited outside. After watching two dead bodies they were shocked but Avni shouted catch that guy. Nobody had seen me except Avni so nobody knew where to run to catch me they were looking here and there in confused state of mind I thought that it was a good moment to fire on them atleast I should reduce their number. I fired, it went through the head of one and suddenly he fell down. All got afraid looking that but bad news was others who were waiting outside came inside to know what’s going on. Avni ordered then to find and kill me and she ran outside. She was there new boss now. They knew this so they followed her instruction I was running here and there to hide myself. I covered my body with the sacks again but my hands started to shiver. I looked towards sky to pray to god but there was no sky but instead I found a high window almost 10 feets above the ground level. But as the sacks were kept there the hight was almost 5 feet I was not sure that I can jump from there but I had no choice even the window was having glass. I took the chance ran towards it while running all of them noticed me. They fired on me while running I was not so sure that I can make it even I was expecting some bullet to penetrate into my body but everything happened in a flash and I found myself falling from the height of 10 feets on the ground. I found my shoulder bleeding but I was not so sure what happened to it, was it a bullet or was it the window glass but I found myself alive.

I was lying on the ground for 5 minutes then I heard the sounds of vehicle I guessed that they are the police. I ran towards them while running I found a vehicle speeding away I felt it might be Avni escaping. I ran towards the police jeep all the officers were busy in raid commissioner looked towards me gave me a broad smile but I didn’t smile back to him rather I climbed into the jeep started it and started riding it towards the vehicle of Avni. I was very rash driver I was determined that today I am not going to let Avni go. I was driving the jeep with the intension of dashing my jeep into her vehicle. I went closer to her and just dashed my jeep from the left side of her vehicle her vehicle got unbalanced and fell on the farm next to road. I stopped my vehicle and I started waiting for some movement I waited for 5 minutes when I didn’t see anything I stepped out of my vehicle. Suddenly I saw a man pointing pistol towards me I fired on him and he died. I went closer I saw Avni pointing pistol on me and my pistol pointed on her.

Both of us stood facing each other pointing pistol on each other. She said,”Come on fire on me”. I replied, “You surrender yourself there is no other option left with you”.She smiled and said, “there is one option I will kill you and run away”. I replied “you cant run away whole police force has trapped”. “But atleast I can kill you who destroyed my empire for which I sacrificed everything”. Now I didn’t wanted to talk to her because I saw shubham facing the consequences. She smiled and said, “You cannot kill me. You loved me deeply”. I saw a confidence in her eye as she was correct I also was not here to kill her but to arrest her. Suddenly, she fired on me. I heard the sound of bullet and realized that something was penetrated my shoulder and it started paining. I didn’t get the chance of thinking while my brain gave command to my fingure and it automatically fired it was the self protection reflexes. A bullet shot went into the heart of Avni while I could see her big beautiful eyes expressing surprise with expression of pain but this pain was nothing compared to the pain I suffered in my heart during these days. She fell down on the ground her body was still moving showing that she was still alive. I thought how could she die with the bullet on her heart she didn’t possess a heart so I fired one more bullet on her brain. I loved her till she took her last breath even if she was cruel, harsh but still I had a soft corner for her. It is the problem with me once I start loving somebody I love that person forever. But this time I was not able to give her a SECOND CHANCE.


Today on 12th of February 2011 I finished writing it. It was quite difficult for me to write this time writing on computer is really very difficult and boring even my busy schedule put lots of barrier for completing it but my reader like Suvin always encouraged me to write even he scolded me for delay. I want such kind of love from you all so that I can continue writing this. Thanks to Anubhav for whom I came electronic writing due to geographical distance we face and I didn’t wanted to leave my regular reader. Thanks all those who somehow read my old novels also.

This time you may find improved English as two of my very good friend had spent their time in editing it. Mr. Suvin Kumar Sahidharan C.H. you have always been my true inspiration and without your encouragement I would not have been able to write anything. Your “kutrya lavkar leeh” always encouraged me. Thanks to Ms. Sindhu Chaudhary who always shared her thoughts and always gave me right direction to approach towards the story she also told me many stories that she reads which made me think more innovatively. You guys rocks and you both contributed so much in my life to encourage my passion of writing that I can never repay you its worth. Thank you my both editor.

My editors also got so much flaw in thanking note to preface after correcting almost 500 errors now I am ready to distribute it on 08/03/2011. I promise I will improve and will reduce your work load.


Mail or msg me your suggestions and comments its compulsory.

Mr. Prabal Thakur

Aged 20, I started writing from 2006. I accomplished writing 4 novels. Thank you all for reading it. Always stay connected. I want you all my readers. Also circulate it to your friends so that I will be able to get multiple responses.

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