Saturday 2 March 2013

Ye Pyaar tha ya haar (Short Fiction story)


Ye Pyaar tha ya haar
(Short Fiction story)

Mujhe uss se pehli nazar may hi pyaar hogaya tha jab wo mere saamne se guzri aur saamne wale sofa may jakar baith gayi. Mein nazre bacha bacha kar uski taraf dekh raha tha, andar se darr b tha ki wo mujhe oose ghoorta hua naa pakad le par use dekhne ka lalach mujhe rukne nahi de raha tha. Wo suraj ki kirne jo uske muh par padd rahi thi, use bachne ki uski koshish, uski choti choti aankho ka aur chota hojana, wo uska muh banana,palke jhapkana mujhe toh ooski har ada se pyaar hogaya tha.Shayad mere zindagi ka pehla pyaar.  Mereaas paas dheero baate ho rahi thi par mujhe toh sirf wo hi dikhai de rahi thi.

Mein ek sadharan sa ladka tha jisne zindagi may unglio par ginni jitni hi uplabhdiyaa prapt ki thi. Mujhe bachpan se rules sikhaye gaye jaise sabko sikhaye jaate hai for example ticket counter k saamne line lagao, school time pe jao, subah jaldi utho, raatme jaldi soo etc aur meine pure imandaari se har ek rule ko nibhaya be hai. Mujhe rules todna pasand nie tha, kabhi bhi nie, agar galtise koi rule toot b jata toh mere andr guilt aane lag jaati hai. Shayad kartavya parayan ye sikh mere andr tak ghar kar chuki thi.

School mein saare teachers ka sabse pyaara aur baaki class ka dushman no. 1. Ye humesha hota hai agar aap teachers k aankho k tare hai toh dosto k aankho k kaate b apne aap ban jaate hai. Fir b mujhse nafrat karna itna b aasan nie tha kyuki mein madad karne se b kabhi piche nie hatta tha. Ab School life tenant life may badal chuki thi ab rank 1 laane se jada famous wo hota tha jiski sabse sundar girlfriend hoti. Par mein apne zindagi  rules may bandha tha mujhe sikhaya gaya tha ki ye sab paap hai toh humne b apni zimmedaari imaandari se nibhai aur kabhi road na bhatke.

College may mujhe sirf career hi dikhai deta tha kyuki mera rule kehta tha ki college jaaakar padhai ki jaaye.Ab tenants adult hogaye aur sutta marne lage par humne humesha duri hi banayi rakhi thi. Pyaar mohobbat k daur chalte rahe kisne kiske sath link up kiya aur kisne kiske sath breakup sabki khabre humtak pahuchti rahi par hum jaha the wahi the. Ye kehna toh galat hi hoga ki rules break karne ki mujhe kabhi ikcha nie hui, par meine apne mann ko kuch self imposed rules se baandh rakha tha. Jaisa ki kaha jaata hai ki kaid kiye panchi ko aazad b kar do toh wo ghumke wapas pinjare may hi aajata hai bus usi trarah mujhe ab iss kaid se yaari hogai thi.

Ab office aagaya, saikdo students ko pachadkar humne naukri haasil ki. Ghamand tha hume apne aap pe ki humne jo chaha wo kar dikhaya kyuki saalo ki mehnat ka fal ab kaatne ka waqt aachuka tha. Corporate life style aur work style se parichay hua. Par jab parichay hua tab ye mehsus b hua ki shayad mein isi k liye apne aapko rules may badha nie karta tha, mein apne aapk ko kabhi unlogo se judaa mehsoos naa kar pata ab office parties may sharabo k daur chalte the aur hum hath may juice ka glass liye ghumte the. Ab toh log husne b lag gaye hum par ki ye daaru nie pita hai par is hasi k saamne mujhe kabhi sharm mehsoos nie hui ulta garv hota tha ki jo rules khud bana liye usko meine puri nishtha k sath palan kar paya hu. Ab weekends may sab apni wali k sath busy hojaate the aur mein akeela baithke books padhte ya movie dekhte rahe. Ab office k chunindaa dosto may meri image sidhe saade ladke ki ban gayi thi, ab kyuki sabko pata tha ki mera kuch ho nie sakta toh sab ab puchne lage the ki meri shadi kab hogi.Mujhe b ab intazaar hone laga apni zindagi ko complete karne k liye.

Waise mere ghar wale mujhse kafi saalo se mannate karte rahe the ki shaadi kar le par humeshase mera kuch kaam baaki tha bt ek moment pe jaakar mere ghar walo ka sabr ka bandh bhi tut gaya aur unhone aakhir mujhe ek ladki dekhne k liye mana hi liye. Mein kisi audit committee ya kisi board meeting may b itna nervous nie tha jitna mein aaj tha uparse saare relatives pasand puch puchke pareshan kar rakha tha. Ab mere jaisa insaan jisne kabhi socha b nie apne life partner ke baareme wo kya apni pasand batayegaa.

Papa ne aaj badi wali car nikaali thi aur driver kia tha, apni car mujhe khud drive karne may mazaa aata tha par aaj saare instructions follow karne padd rahe the. Apna sabse acha shirt pant pehenke tayaar kia gaya tha. Ab hum unke ghar pahoch gaye aur mujhe VIP treatment milna shuru hogaya, laddu khao ye khao tum kuch khate b nie, itna importance toh mujhe zindagi may shayad hi kabhi mila hoga. Aaj tak toh khana hai toh kha warna mat kha wala concept hi meine dekha tha. Log ice breakers chalane lage ab mujhe aadat si thi meetings attend kar karke diplomatic behaiour. Ek smile dete raho bus. Fir achanak se mummy ne kaha “aap ki bitiyaa ko toh bulaiye” ye sunke mummy ko flying kiss dene ka mann kar raha tha. Ye bhi mere sath hota rehta tha jab board meetings may agenda chodke idhar udhar ki baate hone lagti aur ek director bolta lets come back to todays agenda tb usko b flying kiss dene ka mann karta  Ab mein apni aankhe ghumaane laga idhar udhar.

Aur ek sehmisi ladki hath may tray lekar andr aayi, pehna toh saadi tha par mujhe samajh aaraha tha ki its not her usual dress. Oosee dekhte hi mann may ek khushnumaa sa ehsaas hone laga, chehre pe achanak se ek muskaan si aane lagi par mujhe pata tha control may rehnaa hai saare bade log aas pass baithe hue hai. Oosee mumma ne pass bithaya, suraj ki kirne khidkiyo ko par karke uske chehre pay padh rahi thi par wo unse bachkar muskuraa kar jawab de rahi thi. Jaisa ki pehle bataya bus wahi mujhe apne zindagi ka pehla pyaar hogaya. Fir koi kahi se chillane laga ladka ladki ko aapas may kuch baat karne do.Abhi toh mein apne pehle pyaar ko puri tarah mehsoos bhi nie kar paya tha ki itnaa tension wala kaam aagaya. Ab meri phattne lagi, pyaar karna bahot aasan hai yaar par baat karna behad mujhki hai.

Mujhe toh pasine aarahe the jab mujhe jabardasti akelaa bitha diya gaya, meine ghabraaye ghabraye use puchaa “aapka naam??” aur mere dimag may fatt se click hua ki kaun pagal ladki dekhne aata hai bina ladki ka naam jaane, mujhe uska naam pata bhi tha par ab mera dimaag apna kaam kar hi nahi raha tha. Fir bhi usne mujhe muskura kar apnaa naam bataya aur mein wahi flat hogaya ab toh mujhe uski wo khilti hui muskurahat se b pyaar hogaya tha. Meine use uske college k baaareme pucha ab mujhe bahot aadat thi interviews lene ki toh iss baareme que puchne may mujhe koi problem hi nie thi. Aur wo Sharma Sharma k aswer diye jaa rahi thi meri himmat toh nie thi usko direct dekhne ki par mein apni tirchi nazrose uski tasvirr ko jitna apne mann may basa saku basa raha tha. Uski tasvir mere dil may basti jaa rahi thi aur mera pathar dil pighlaa jaa raha tha. Mera bus chalta toh mein wahi behosh ho jata pr mein ladka tha toh isiliye mein tough banne ki acting karne laga aur ghabrahat k mare bahot saare questions puchne laga.Har question puchne ki jagah mein use kehna chahta tha “I love you yaar be my soul mate lets marry right here right now”. Ab dhire dhire mere questions khatam hogaye aur mein intazaar karne laga ki wo b kuch kahe.

Bahot daer k sannate k baad usne mujhse kaha “aapka koi affair wagaire tha..?” usko ye question puchna hi tha kyuki life ka sawaal hota hai par humara b answer taiyaar hi tha, humne apni chaati chaudi karke answer diya “Nie kabhi nie” phir thodi daer sannata hogaya issbar bhi usne sannata todte hue kaha ki “aap iss shadi k liye naa kar doge” jitni chaati chaudi karke meine usse kaha tha pichla sentence utni hi sharmindgi aur aashcharyaa se meine use dekha, ab mere paas jada shabd nie the kehne k lie, meine sawal puchti hui apni nazro se uski ore dekha shayad wo khud samajh gai aur kehne lagi “8 saal se mera boy friend hai aur hum shadi karege bus kuch waqt ki jarurat hai, mein naa nie kar sakti toh kya aap mere lie mujhe nie bol doge” meine is question ka jawaab socha par mu se kuch keh pana ab mushkil tha, meine haan may sar hila diya. Mujhe shayad uski maangti hui nazro se b pyaar hogay, mujhe uske sehme hue chehre se bhi pyaar hogaya, mujhe uski sachi mohobbat se b pyaar hogaya.

Hum wapas aaye, meine nie bol dia ghar walo ne reason pucha toh mein koi thos jawaab diye bagair hi apne kaamo may lag gaya. Jawab tha b kya, mujhe oose itna pyaar tha ki mere lafz uski buraai nie kar paate. Fir subah se kuch meetings, kuch project reviews, kuch logo ko daatna, kuch ko appreciate karna, client ko butter lagana, naye assignments lana aur meri zindagii ne fir raftaar pakad li par ek din raatme jab mein apne pankhe ko ghurte hue neend ka intazaar kar raha tha tab mujhe uss ladki ki tasveer aankho k saamne nazar aane lagi.. shayad pehli baar dil tuta that oh thoda dard toh honaa hi tha. Fir mein sochne laga uska 8 saal puraana pyaar hai aur 8 saal pehle meine apne self imposed rules may bandha hua tha jab oose pyaar hua hoga.. shayad mujhe tab bhi haq nie tha oosse pyaar karne kaa aur mujhe ab bhi haq nie hai… Fir bhi mujhe oose pyaar hai.. so after all rule break ho hi gaya..


4 comments:

  1. sweet but sad ending:(

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    1. Thanks.. write your name also so that I will be knowing who is reading..

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